mikeham

Snowflakes utter no sound,
yet I listen for them as I
gaze up into the cold
vibrating in my nostrils.
I listen for the silent
geometric beauty pressing
in mounds, in delight
on my hair, on the ground, the city.
Earth is such a good
mathematician, knitting the
beauty of line with the necessities
of her slow, immense body
that I call her mother.

SarahNSH

Hello mikeham!

Wow, I really do love looking, observing, and thinking about snowflakes and I really enjoyed your unique take on them. I liked the metaphors you had going on here but I do have one suggestion to make with the part below:

I listen for the no sound-

I'd suggest maybe with the above part right here to change "no sound" to something different since this was used for your opening line and to mix it up with some different word play. Here is my suggestion, which, of course, keep in mind it's just my thoughts and completely up to you:


I listen for the silence
of geometric beauty pressing
in mounds, in delight


But, again, just my opinion and I found nothing else to point out with this. I just love the last few lines of your poem, how you say that earth is such a good mathematician, which was extremely unique and I enjoyed this metaphor a lot. Overall, I just found this to be a great poem and I'm glad I came across it! Thank you for sharing it!