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Revisions All revised works initially posted in the Critique Saloon need to go in this section.

Saxophone Love VI--Revision #1
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Old 08-20-2006, 01:33 PM
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Saxophone Love VI--Revision #1

Saxophone Love VI--Revision #1

His rhthym, reminiscent
of a Jamaican jazz serenade
paralyzes me

I cannot resist his melody
No - I don't want to stop

He pushes his brass horn in my____lap
releasing sweet senual notes
at a time

I can't help being captivated
till I scream, till I chime

This cannot be the last song
I wanted him to play another melody
harder
....faster
.....stronger

I want to feast on his brass
all night long
till I'm covered___with Jazz.



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