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 »» Saxophone Love VIII - Revision #1
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Revisions All revised works initially posted in the Critique Saloon need to go in this section.

Saxophone Love VIII - Revision #1
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Old 09-30-2006, 12:54 PM
  post #1
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Saxophone Love VIII - Revision #1
Saxophone Love VIII

Opened my window,
sounds of the night float in
a misty cool zephyr
arousing my peanut butter skin.

A silhouette
my beautiful Moroccan man
divinely reclining,
fingers gently caressing his
ebony brass sax.

Mouth moistens delicate tones
blowing sweet air with tremble
stroke every note of me.

I cannot resist.

I want more.

I taste every C-clef; the tenor
aged like my collection of fine wine
fermented from sweet Pinar del Rio vines,
pulls me up slowly
improvising jazz between my thighs.

Afterward, a misty cool zephyr
tickles my dampened peanut butter skin
as we lay in each other’s arms
listening to the sounds
of the night float in.



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Old 09-30-2006, 01:27 PM
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thsi was good freaked me out a little peanut-butter skin doesn't smell that good either plus its sticky, jk mostly I found this enchanting
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Old 12-09-2006, 03:01 AM
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LOL, Thank you for your time and sticky comment Erik, LOL!!!!

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Old 12-09-2006, 12:21 PM
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I'll comment on this one again in the hopes more will comment on the revision,
I found the revision much better,

what you made what a very romantic euphorical scene the image sare great



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Old 12-09-2006, 07:01 PM
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Thank you so much Erik, your comments mean alot to me.

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Old 12-10-2006, 01:33 AM
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Quote:
I taste every C-clef; the tenor
aged like my collection of fine wine
fermented from sweet Pinar del Rio vines,
pulls me up slowly
improvising jazz between my thighs.
ohKAY!!!!



Kim-
I've read the others, so U know I'm diggin the series thus far. I'm just embarassed that reading these make me "Horny" I need help! I'm gonna start jazzin it up at night, maybe I'll sleep better.


This reads like a hot steamy romance....U have so many levels of Artistic
Talents.

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