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Diary of a Silent Magician: The End
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:31 AM
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Icon12 Diary of a Silent Magician: The End

Diary of a Silent Magician: The End


Mary thought to herself that she would rather be in hell.

As the Magician leaned down to begin the illusion of dissection, Mary started screaming hysterically. Unbeknownst to the audience Mary saw the face of death. A flash of his head bore the semblance of what appeared to be a grotesque and cadaverous being. At that moment, he had no eyes and a stench of flesh in its last stages of decay. The audience went wild, as they loved the show. The Magician whispered to Mary, “Welcome to hell Mary.” The intensity of the cheers from the audience pumped through the Magician’s veins like molten magma.

The Magician got caught up in the cheers, turned off the saw, raised his arms, and glorified in his fame. Mary broke free from the Black Box and ran half-crazed off the stage. The Magician yelled for her, and then he noticed a man in the last row holding a sign, that said, “Charles, rest in peace.” The Magician slowly lowered his arms, and just starred at the man. Another man from the audience yelled out, “What the fuck is goin' on here?” Mary was no longer in sight as she ran out of from the show and managed to get a taxi home.

The man holding the sign answered the man who yelled out by saying that the Magician before the audience is Charles Morris who died one hundred years ago. His soul never laid to rest and he came to me one night while working in my laboratory. When Charles was alive, he had a disease that severely disfigured and malformed his head. Adults and children alike called him a freak while frightened of him. With a broken spirit, he turned to killing, and set out to mutilate anyone and everyone who made fun of him, and turned their cheek. He loved the thrill of severing the chords and sawing off the heads of people who made fun of his…with a chainsaw. He begged me to give him life again. In return he promised never to kill again. There was complete silence from the audience and the silent Magician began a new page in his diary.

The next day, still shaken from her ordeal, Mary made her morning tea, and turned on the telly.

“We have incredible breaking news! A bloody massacre occurred last night at the Magic Show in downtown London!! This was the site of the most hideous and horrific massacre in London’s history! There appeared to be no survivors and all who attended last night were decapitated!”

Mary dropped her teacup and as it shattered to the ground she shrieked in horror. She sat down to try to compose herself enough to call the police. Strangely, Mary then heard the ominous sound of a chainsaw. With eyes closed tightly, Mary screamed even more as she remembered the hideous sight of the Magician on stage. What Mary didn't know was the the full story told at the show about Charles Morris. Suddenly her screams were silenced as her head tumbled in her lap.


Diary of a Silent Magician Part I can be found here


PD



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Old 08-27-2007, 12:37 PM
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Great story,
It reminds me of Twilight Zone ending in some morbid epiphany; although, because of his power and ability to tortue his victom from depths of the psyche, the magician is a little like the character Freddie Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street.
I get a little thrown off in the paragraph where you start, "The scientist answered." Although the point of view is through an omnious narrator, I am reading as though I am Mary or at least I feel directly connected to her. One alternative might be to have Mary reading this information in the library archives, a book in an attic, or something before the story begins.



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Old 08-27-2007, 05:25 PM
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Thanks for reading and commenting Jolie...yes I see and am adjusting a few minor details, and will take a look at incorporating your suggestions...thank you so much! For now...I just adjusted from the scientist, to the man holding the sign, etc. and made a few other changes throughout. Your suggestions are great.

I want to keep and strive for the Twilight Zone feel, as I want it to be read as the Magician actually cutting their heads off, and not through the depths of the psyche. Thanks so much Jolie, love ya!

Kim



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Old 08-27-2007, 05:49 PM
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PD, this was definitely worth waiting for! So much better than anything we could have come up with...Queen of Horror!! Amazing concept!!!

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Old 08-27-2007, 10:21 PM
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I love to help out when I can. I had a workshop class at the university, and I really enjoyed reading other's complements and ideas they thought might strengthen the stories. In that class we were required to make two suggestions. At first I hated it; it seemed mean, but once I got use to it, I realized how useful these remarks were for the writer and also for me. Sometimes I didn't agree with what someone said, and sometimes they might not agree with me, but I did realize how different people might read and interperet my writing.

When I offer a suggestion, I always say, if you like any of my ideas use them, if they don't work for you, trash them.



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Old 08-28-2007, 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by nomadicrhymer View Post
PD, this was definitely worth waiting for! So much better than anything we could have come up with...Queen of Horror!! Amazing concept!!!

Nomad

Thanks Ms Nomad for taking time to come back and read and comment on Part II. I still have some tweaking, but am honored of your comment. I wanted something different than the woman just getting sawed in half, and my mind ran wild! lol Thanks again. Love Ya!

PD



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Old 08-28-2007, 12:07 AM
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Originally Posted by JolieH View Post
I love to help out when I can. I had a workshop class at the university, and I really enjoyed reading other's complements and ideas they thought might strengthen the stories. In that class we were required to make two suggestions. At first I hated it; it seemed mean, but once I got use to it, I realized how useful these remarks were for the writer and also for me. Sometimes I didn't agree with what someone said, and sometimes they might not agree with me, but I did realize how different people might read and interperet my writing.

When I offer a suggestion, I always say, if you like any of my ideas use them, if they don't work for you, trash them.
Thanks Jolie.....for future reference.....with me, keep the suggestions coming...I need all the help I can get...lol!

Kim



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