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Spoken Word & Freestyle Poems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here.

forever night
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Old 09-17-2007, 02:22 PM
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forever night
as dark as the sun is bright
i used to live through the night
just to escape and ride
that was my way to hide
everything that crushed my mind
everything making me race through everyday
thinking about all the ways things should have been
now i just let go.. let the music sail through me
out of my soul.. into the thriving darkness of the night
this is my giving into freedom
this is me breathing for real
i come alive for once in the twilight
only to go back to my nightmares
only to face the impossible climb up the scape of my mountain
gaining a inch... falling for what feels like forever
but no one knows how every foothold was a war to achieve
and every lost grip will take eternity to get back againe
if only it didnt feel like i was pushing to get off the ground
pushing against the grain... against what almost everyone thinks is right
it would be so much easier if this was the night
instead i'm scorched by the heat of the sunlight
let the day be gone.. so i can rejoin with the moonlight
so i can ride with the wind
no more up hill struggle
no more eternal wars and fights
no more melting in the sunlight

let it forever be the night
let my soul forever shine
escaping through my heart
escaping through my song...
to find me melting into the dark

be forever night



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Old 09-17-2007, 04:27 PM
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Loved it....the tropes and the "nowhere to go, nothing to do but compromise" mood
Great job....and tomorrow I promise *scouts honor* I'll give a more decent, articulate reply.
Going to get some sleep now and to rummage a bit more on this piece.



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Old 09-17-2007, 07:09 PM
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if only it didnt feel like i was pushing to get off the ground
pushing against the grain... against what almost everyone thinks is right
it would be so much easier if this was the night
instead i'm scorched by the heat of the sunlight
let the day be gone.. so i can rejoin with the moonlight
so i can ride with the wind
no more up hill struggle
no more eternal wars and fights
no more melting in the sunlight


Blood, once again your writings embody such a rich, verdant range of emotions that I can actually feel the cry of the heart and all the emotions you lay bare for us. I would hope that you always have such a wonderful spirit and a need to share it with us. Thanks for this memorable piece!!

Nomad



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Old 09-19-2007, 06:14 AM
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hi blood dude ... this is brooding ... dark ... deep ... depressing even ... but good ...
i have times when i wish it would stay night and when morning comes i just wanna pull the covers over my head to try make the world go away ... trouble is it never does man ...

this has the feel ... the beat ... the lyrics of a pop song and i like it ... well done ...

jim



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