Spoken Word & FreestylePoems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here. Wasn't really sure where to put it...
Frozen Moment
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Biography: Tirty-seen year old mother of three (two grown now) boys, poet and witch. I love nature, magic and the mystery of life. There's no greater adventure than the one we're on, and no more exciting time than now!
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Frozen Moment
Frozen Moment
Solitude,
the solace of silence
The healing of the mind
A respite,
Watching shadows shift
The only visage of time
The humming hushed
The world is frozen
And locked in wintry sheen
Why couldn't we have
A moment like this
When the world turns to green?
Last edited by nomadicrhymer; 07-20-2008 at 10:52 PM.
Reason: spelling
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Biography: I am a poetry, short story, and Novel writer.
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Hello ZonaJewel!
Well, I know that you're a newbie to the JPIC Community so first off I'd like to welcome you to the community! It's funny, I actually had this poem up and ready to review and went to check my email and realized you just reviewed my poem, so, I guess I'm returning the favor then.
I really liked the title of your poem, it caught my curiousty and I was thinking when I read "Frozen Moment" as a frozen moment with a kiss or something of that sort. I liked how you spun it differently than what I thought and painted the solitude and silence from the first stanza... which fits well. When I'm by myself, and I have silence all around me it is kind of like being frozen in time so this was an interesting look at it.
I do have a suggestion though of maybe running your poem through spell check to fix a few words which are mispelled and such. But, this is definitely an easy fix.
Anywho, I liked the question at the end... asking why can't we have moments like this when everything turns green so I'm guessing that you're refering to the quiet of winter tme that seems to cover everything. I never thought of this before, spring/summer/ect. being quiet like winter and how this would sound. So, altogether I enjoyed reading this poem and thank you for sharing!
Biography: Tirty-seen year old mother of three (two grown now) boys, poet and witch. I love nature, magic and the mystery of life. There's no greater adventure than the one we're on, and no more exciting time than now!
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ZonaJewel has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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OMG, Sarah, you're right...I didn't even see that and I re-read like three times! Thanks! Also thank you for taking the time, and being so thoughtful in your reply.
Deb
Biography: I'm just a guy, HAPPILY married ten years (thank you--throw money, not flowers) with three kids tryin' to get by on a wage that stays the same in a world where prices simply don't. (You know the story). I love the out-of-doors, and in-of-books. I am a wordsnob and a vocabulary geek; I have a very off-kilter sense of humor based mostly in liguistics and the appreciation of the non-sequiter.
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Zona:
For me, this hearkens to Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay," with its brevity and seasonal allegory. I have read several essays on Frost's work, and it feels like they are all off-the-mark. Poems like that--and this--are so simple, so pure as to not bear out lengthy exposition and interpretation. And I really enjoyed the pure, brief distillation of your thoughts in this picturesque piece.
As for the answer to the question, like The Byrds said: "There is a time...for every purpose." Just as the comparison between sunrise and sunset is so extreme, so are the contrasts between the time of recuperation--winter--and the time of rejuvination--spring. With life bursting everywhere, the human spirit is loth to sit and watch, but yearns to get involved.
Some nits:
Line 5: Watching (sp)
Line 6: vestige (sp)
Line 11: A moment (sp)
I really enjoyed this piece, and all of the connections and philosphy it brough to mind. Thanks for posting this with us!
I love this poem love the visual of the silent snow falling the ice forming the only sound might be the wind. but as far as then the world is green we have to find our own place of quiet and tranquility, in a forest, by a secluded lake woods even your back yard. you have to find the time and place. sometimes I go out after midnight with the shining stars and moon.
fantastic penning
hugs kisses
bear
Biography: Tirty-seen year old mother of three (two grown now) boys, poet and witch. I love nature, magic and the mystery of life. There's no greater adventure than the one we're on, and no more exciting time than now!
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ZonaJewel has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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Thanks, Jeff. I do appreciate the thought it's been given. And thank you also for telling me how the piece made you feel. It was actually written during an ice storm here in Oklahoma. The power was out all over town, in fact about a third of the state, so the quiet and solitude were deep, and had a profound effect on me. There's probably a lot more of these to come.
Deb
Biography: Tirty-seen year old mother of three (two grown now) boys, poet and witch. I love nature, magic and the mystery of life. There's no greater adventure than the one we're on, and no more exciting time than now!
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ZonaJewel has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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Thank you, Bear...I often find myself shying away from the buzz of daily life. This was one time the quiet came to me...lol.
Thanks again,
Deb
Biography: IM JONATHAN , IM A 23 YEAR OLD INDIAN MALE , BY PROFESSION IM A TELEMARKETER .
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Quote:
Solitude,
the solace of silence
The healing of the mind
I relly identify with those lines Zona ... I hav been wrking relly hard and woteva lil time i hav for leisure is all alone by myself and yea its proving to be hell of a positive process of healing and thought for me ..like ure stuff , short precise but so very deep .... Chester
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