Spoken Word & FreestylePoems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here. fun with frustration
Fruxtration
this thread has 7 replies and has been viewed 277 times
What is more xasperatin’ than
lockin’ your keys in the car?
I ask you, “Who I’m gonna blame?”
Damn keys. (Forgive my xecratin’.)
I don’t mean to xacerbate
the situation, but I gotta
blame somethin’. Damn folder,
slid off the backseat, poems
all over the floor. I xorcise
any thought of me and my
studidity, but this is purely
x parte.
Last edited by mslit; 04-10-2008 at 12:44 AM.
JPiC Forum Sponsor Links • This Forum is enhanced with content-revelevant advertisings...
JPiC Whole-Post Ad Policy
Whole-Post advertisings are shown only to JPiC Forum For Writers' Guests. Once successfully registered, such ads will not be shown. CLICK HERE to register your 100% FREE JPiC account today and become an active Member of our Community for Poets & Writers!
Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
Surfs The Web With:
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Hi MS LIT and welcome - if you haven't done so thus far - feel free to introduce yourself to the Community via the Member Introductions section
---------------
---------------
I think I'm a little bit afraid of this writing. I think sometimes it's more of an "urban" type swang that would allow for the "x" to be used in such a way and possibly even considered inventive in any other type of situation - but I think it's a poor poetic device and probably more suited to a chatroom scenario lol - but I do tell ya - I can certainly commiserate the loss of keys teehhehe - never have I read a poem that centered around the idea - but interesting none-the-less - I would say get rid of the "x"s, add a bit of description to your writing and you may have a novel idea on your hands.
What is more xasperatin’ than
lockin’ your keys in the car?
I ask you, “Who I’m gonna blame?”
Damn keys. (Forgive my xecratin’.)
I don’t mean to xacerbate
the situation, but I gotta
blame somethin’. Damn folder,
slid off the backseat, poems
all over the floor. I xorcise
any thought of me and my
studidity, but this is purely
x parte.
I can see what you're saying and feel your exasperation but Jacquii's right. You're trying to be unique, maybe, but all those x's are just distracting from the image and feelings you're trying to emote.
Please...think about it. I love what you're saying. It's definitely different and would be just as unique without the creative spelling.
okay, okay! this is not a poem to take too seriously. the x's are distracting and annoying--just like locking your keys in the car! and yes, I have Queen Latifah's attitudinal lilt in my ear for the "who I'm gonna blame" line. no one mentioned the misspelling/typing of "stupidity."
Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
Surfs The Web With:
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mslit
I have Queen Latifah's attitudinal lilt in my ear for the "who I'm gonna blame" line. no one mentioned the misspelling/typing of "stupidity."
Help us get better hosting = make your donation today!
