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 »» From the land of the free, to the land of the the chaos
    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » Spoken Word & Freestyle

Spoken Word & Freestyle Poems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here.

From the land of the free, to the land of the the chaos
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Old 05-24-2008, 08:11 PM
  post #1
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From the land of the free, to the land of the the chaos
Bang bang bang
To the crosser on by
Now their dead
And its just me left behind

I got a pack of candy
And then left the store
Next thing I know
I see the kid shot from next door

My grandma says it wasn't always like this
That there was once complete safety, and joy
Complete safety and joy
Seems like a fairytale to me

Its the land of the free
Do as you please
Freedom is good to a point for all
But only to a point as I see

This land
These cities
Have all taken advantage of their freedom to the max.

For now all I hear is crashes and screams
Shots and cries
And every day I feel
As if I'm about to die
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:09 AM
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Deep poem, you really hit home with the struggles that reside in the cities, good piece of work.

~Peace
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Old 05-28-2008, 08:49 PM
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thank you i don't do poems involving situations or events in the world a whole lot, so i didn't know how good it'd turn out. but i'm glad u liked it.
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:24 PM
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Hi Megan .. this poem is where it is at today. You did a very precise job of showing exactly what is wrong in the world today. Too much freedom of speech... too much excess... Kids today only get to learn of the violence in today's world.

I have to say your poem moved me ... very very insightful for one so young. When I was your age .... I didn't know fear like that .... thank god. I think it would have made me a different person. I am glad I didn't grow up like youth today are... I would not view the world like I do if I had. I still have faith that people have consciences, know right from wrong.

I have to say I am gonna give this one an excellent rating. Thank you for a thought provoking read.

Mysty



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Old 07-02-2008, 01:41 AM
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Wow, this is such a strong poem with such a strong and powerful message to say. I have to agree with Mysty and say that I am very impressed, and especially for your age too. This just really is impressive with what you have to say and just how insightful it is. I especially agree with the lines here:

Freedom is good to a point for all
But only to a point as I see

This is just really great and such a powerful and intriguing write. So, thank you for sharing it and I'm glad I came across this poem of yours. I think that you did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your work!



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Old 07-05-2008, 06:48 PM
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whoa, i haven't signed on here in a while :0. thanks for the comments tho u guys, i rly appreciate it . we can only hope that some of the problems in america today can be resolved....
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