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Spoken Word & Freestyle Poems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here.

Melancholy Spinning Time
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Old 09-28-2007, 01:05 AM
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Melancholy Spinning Time
Melancholy Spinning Time


Hopeless, time is spinning hopeless
and age leaps upon us all.
One day a child , skipping rope
double dutching rhymes
catch me before I fall.

Building fairy villages
beneath the lilac bush
with reinforced roads
and stolen matchbox cars
to transport them home.

Collecting rock and stones
from the backroads,
building fortresses in the trees
no mean boys allowed
because they steal.

Once upon a fairytale
you were a princess
he was your knight
demons couldn't stand
against his might.

Days twisted into night
and the hormones
clamor for release
driving you insane
with needs unknown.

One blink, somehow it all passed
your children are gone
and your needs multiplied
but he pulls away
leaving the emptiness.

Hopeless, time is spinning hopeless
because we cannot go back
and do it over again.
Old age leaps upon us
before we are ready to depart.


©2007 Sandra Elizabeth Johnson
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Old 09-28-2007, 06:34 AM
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Hey now Mysty,

I didn't recall being a princess in a fairy tale, but You did elicit some remembrances of my time spun by... I like the story line - in a handful of stanzas you've covered a lifetime....

And you're right, it's past and over before we realize it - so, make the best of it now and have the time of your life because time is spinning hopelessly away......

Nice write, enjoyed mucho....



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Old 09-29-2007, 12:44 AM
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Dear Mysty,

That was such a beautiful and spot on read! Lasher couldn't have said it any better than, that you covered a lifetime in a few stanzas. You captured the time line, the essence of time, and the natural progression of time. However, with each chapter in her life the feelings matured, etched, and became memories. That is simply exquisite sis. Also in the read you scribe with beautifully selected words, combinations of words, skillfully crafted and placed. Just the right word in the right spot with complimentary words to deliver the right amount of beauty and emotion. That along with the brevity of the piece amazes me. Lastly, to deliver that much (concept and message) on such a small canvas always has been your signature and quite powerful and unique Mysty. Excellent Rating Dahling!

Oh and Mysty...the title was perfect and could not have been more fitting! For me the title and the first few lines must capture me and you did that flawlessly......This poem made me ponder my own "SPINNING TIME"!

PD



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Last edited by PaintedDiary; 09-29-2007 at 12:48 AM. Reason: additional commentary
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Old 09-29-2007, 12:51 AM
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Thank You Kim.. Your comments always touch me where it counts hon... you make me feel so humble... that someone of your intelligence and callibre can enjoy and like my work..... well I am honored and humbled. I Love You Kim Sisters of the Soul we are



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