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Spoken Word & Freestyle Poems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here.

Memories of Vietnam
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Old 08-23-2007, 04:31 PM
  post #1
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Memories of Vietnam

Memories of Vietnam


Beauty rises
shimmering
under full moon
gliding softly
home
to rest
upon your stature.
Gunboats rage
around
you softly feed
cold hard death
through the machine
spattering the lovely night
with never ending screams
bodies injected
pierced by love
of country
fall to darkness
enveloping arms
of
silver tipped waves
flow red
under a forlorn moon.
Movement
down the river
dense forest
to your left
sharp stern profile
painted black
dripping with sweat
no time for regret
no time to think
no time to feel
no time to be
who you were
only
who
you have become
the Grim
tonight.

© nomadicrhymer



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Old 08-23-2007, 04:44 PM
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this was a very cool poem, you put yourself in that place quite good,
parts were just right when you talk about the blodshed its mixture of enjoyment and transformation, you made it just go very smooth



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Old 08-23-2007, 04:46 PM
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Thanks for stopping in and reading Erik. I appreciate the comments.

Nomad



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Old 08-24-2007, 12:59 AM
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Dear Nomad,

This was intense. So full of power, strength, machine-gun executed, sadness, my God, I thought I was there. Loved the selection of words------>Masterful. You are scribing such a tough subject beautifully. I did not even blink. I am awe-struck and am on the look out for more. Your muse is full steam ahead and this along with "She Wrote" are brilliant!

Kim



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Old 08-24-2007, 04:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaintedDiary View Post
Dear Nomad,

This was intense. So full of power, strength, machine-gun executed, sadness, my God, I thought I was there. Loved the selection of words------>Masterful. You are scribing such a tough subject beautifully. I did not even blink. I am awe-struck and am on the look out for more. Your muse is full steam ahead and this along with "She Wrote" are brilliant!

Kim
PD... it's really awesome when your vision is painted on to the canvas of the reader and absorbed exactly the way you portrayed it...that's exactly what I feel when I read your comments...thanks so much for stopping by to read this one.

Nomad



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Old 08-24-2007, 10:34 PM
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Oh My! MS THERESE this poem is so vivid with imagery - I thought that we'd be passed the memories of Vietnam - It was before my time actually - born in 1975 - it would be lovely to shed those horrid memories - but I suppose life just won't allow for that.

What's even more is that people have equated the "disturbance" of Iraq to Vietnam... Isn't it so lovely to live in a world where the "most treacherous" war of this time would only allow for a 'handful' of American deaths as opposed to the fistfuls that Vietnam left in its horrible wake - like a hurricane of uber-Katrina fame?

Quote:
you softly feed
cold hard death
through the machine
spattering the lovely night
with never ending screams
bodies injected
pierced by love
Now I wanted to cut that quote a little short, as I'm a firm believer that LOVE itself WILL NEVER cause pain - It's the PEOPLE who have given 'love' a bad name that causes that pain. Me? I would rather the heaven that so many people purport to believe in.

Interesting poem MS N - Thanx for the share!

Jacquii.



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Old 08-25-2007, 12:30 AM
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Thanks for stopping by Ms. J...it's always wonderful being reviewed by you...because you always place an interesting spin on the wording, and see things deep in the belly of the poem.

I do agree with you about love...but I have to keep it in it's context...

"pierced by love
OF country"

which is an "artistic expression" since I do believe that people were being drafted back then. Not sure any love was involved there.

Vietnam...well, the name came after the poem...I wrote it without thinking of any particular war, and rather than leave it without a name...I thought that it actually fit the war of that time...sorry if it brings back bad memories for anyone.

Nomad



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