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Spoken Word & Freestyle Poems meant for poetry slams and other spoken word venues, as well as freestyle & experimental forms of poetry should be placed here.

Smooth Ink~
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:10 AM
  post #1
Moon Goddess of Whispers

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Smooth Ink~
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~SMOOTH INK~

You got me drowning
in your ink,
eating your
screen dust.
your images curl
around the nuances of
my nerves like the
S around UCK of
my efforts on Haldol.

Your style slams
my confidence like a
door in the face,
every beat on
the blue pond of the
mind animates a
verb or a noun of the
wow kind till you’re
at the end of any
thought of excellence.

Your words are hot
like the sun in rare form
burning little
suns in the screen.
With smoking pen you
burn the pages blowing
rhythm from the
white hot tip of rhyme.

Your ink’s as smooth
as ocean on the surface
of a calm yet waves
of cool emotion
rage a storm
of provoked envy.

Your syllables could
silence a storm, sight
the blind till
they saw a
shape of original
in your beautiful mind.

© May 8, 2007 Karen Davies



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Last edited by Moonchild; 06-04-2008 at 11:39 PM.
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Old 07-30-2007, 12:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonchild View Post


Your ink’s as smooth
as ocean on the surface
of a calm yet waves
of cool emotion
rage a storm
of provoked envy.

Your syllables could
silence a storm, sight
the blind till
they saw a
shape of original
in your beautiful mind.

© May 8, 2007 Karen Davies[/font][/size][/color]
Dear Karen,

Where does one begin to review your outstandingly detailed, vivid, luscious, vibrant, bold, colorful, and aesthetic poetry? Loved it!

Kim



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Old 07-30-2007, 06:27 PM
  post #3
Moon Goddess of Whispers

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Thanks so much Kim...glad ya liked.
I am really proud of this one so it means alot



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Old 07-31-2007, 12:57 AM
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Moonchild WOW beautifully written very passionate emotions simply I love this poem
hugs kisses
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Old 07-31-2007, 09:53 AM
  post #5
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Thanks so much Thomas.
Glad ya liked, I appreciate it(hugs)



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Old 06-04-2008, 11:24 PM
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Hello Moonchild!

Okay, well, I've read a few of your poems by now and I must tell you something...

This is my favorite poem that I've read of yours!

This is just amazing, I love the metaphors that you use, the rhythm of it, how it flows from one line to the next to the next, and also the unique subject of it too. This poem as I'm reading it sounds like it'd be great read outloud and one of my favorite stanzas that I read (though I enjoyed them all) was the second to last one:

Your ink’s as smooth
as ocean on the surface
of a calm yet waves
of cool emotion
rage a storm
of provoked envy.


Though the last stanza ended the poem very well and I liked how it concluded it nicely. So, I just loved those 2 last stanzas but every single stanza fed off of and complimented the one before it. I just loved reading this poem of yours for the images, the rhythm, the uniqueness of your poem, and overall it was just a great read and definitely my favorite poem that I've read of yours.

Thank you for sharing and keep on writing away!
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:54 AM
  post #7
Moon Goddess of Whispers

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Thank you so much Sarah for your many replies to my poems.
I am glad you found a fav in this one.
This is a fav of mine as well.
The picture was broken before and I fixed it so take a look now.
Thank you so much hon...I'm so glad you enjoyed*hugs*



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Old 06-06-2008, 01:11 PM
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this poem is incredible. i love the way you describe what this person is doing to you such creativity! my favorite lines are the last lines


Your syllables could
silence a storm, sight
the blind till
they saw a
shape of original
in your beautiful mind.

the poem is so....it has an undertone of darkness and this last line draws away from some of that and leaves and intriguing note. thank you.



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