erikestabrook

forest light shines down on an over-run swamp

the gentle mist of a dewy morning followed by the falling of snow

an eclipse of forethought
bringing about change
in pace and thought
adapting beliefs and ways

the drink of redemption that hits your lungs and stays

all those times with watching eye
you try your best to take it in
but with only one pair of eyes you live below your means

one morning at a festering age
you'll get your reminder of daily things
and you'll realize you let love go unseen.

MsJacquiiC

Hmmm - This poem seems a bit heartbreaking actually. Though an interesting collection of lines, I like the original approach you have with this poem.

Nice job = Thanx for the share

Jacquii.

erikestabrook

thanks msJ, the ending just fit right in as the poem developed,
heartbreaking I suppose but also could be a well-served warning

Mysty

Erik this is a beautiful and poignant poem. I have only one nit with it hon... the first line... too many overs.

perhaps ...... Forest light shines down on an overgrown swamp OR

Forest light shines over a swamp bursting its seams?

These are just my nits hon...not everyone will think like me. You can use or lose the ideas as you see fit. The rest of the poem really does strike a chord in me though ..... love it hon.

Mysty

erikestabrook

Mysty I totally agree and have changed my poem to your first suggestion