Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0

    Glorious sunrise
    On white crosses in the sand
    Casts morning shadows
    Dreamers neither hear nor see
    The toll of dreams turned nightmare.


    Posted By Terence | Jun 10, 2007
    #1

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Interesting...
    i have no clue what this is supposed to be ( i mean, what form, since it is in creative traditional) but it is good.

    sad at the end tho....

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Thanks for your response, Anna. It is a Tanka form, like an extended Haiku but with a slightly different concept with the additional lines. (The description somehow got lost when reviewing.)

    It seems like I've been on two different themes lately.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jun 10, 2007
    #3
  1. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    5,998
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In a cloud of smoke...
    Home page:
    Books:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +134 / 1 / -0
    Hey TERENCE - this is the 2nd poem I've read of yours this evening... This poem is a bit of deepness - no word wasted. Topic is quite serious, as I'm one who believes that in my dreams, safety is abundant. Never did like those nightmares though...

    But dwelving a little deeper in to your poetic words - the prowess IS seen. Starts with beautiful image of glorious sunshine... Moves on to show the sunshine is reflecting off of white crosses ---- The vivid imagery is actually stunning... The "casts morning shadows" --- The uneasy feeling.... Then the last couplet :wow:

    I do tend to wonder if your message is that some would rather stay in the "dream" - rather than welcomed to the dilemma of life. Interesting write no doubt - Look forward to the next one ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 29, 2007
    #4

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Hi MsJacquii,
    There can be any number of interpretations to my poem. If you combine the homonyms of 'morning' with the the multiple definitions of 'shadows' and 'casts', you'll see what I mean. My own intention was of a topical, political meaning.

    Thanks for the read and your thoughtful response.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jun 30, 2007
    #5

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    346
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Yucca Valley, California
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Terence,

    I have to agree with Ms J you word placement is superb and not only do you paint the picture well but you reach in and grab this readers emotions. My fav:

    For me it touches a place where soldiers have been buried far from home.


    Jerry
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    5,998
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In a cloud of smoke...
    Home page:
    Books:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +134 / 1 / -0
    Yeah - Isn't that one of the beautiful things about poetry - how words in precise order can have more than one meaning - the many meanings of one word...

    Anyway - just re-read this poem TERENCE and can see not only the political intention, but others as well. Really appreciate you sharing this poem with us, as your craft is wonderful!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 30, 2007
    #7

    papasan22 PenDragon

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Message Count:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Simply~~~ Deep~~~Nice~~
    WriteOn,
    PD


    Posted By papasan22 | Jul 1, 2007
    #8

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Right on, Jerry, though the 'sand' has to be purely symbolic as none are left behind. I appreciate your great response.

    Thanks again, MsJ, and you too PenDragon. I don't care to get too deep very often as meaning can get lost but with so few words at one's disposal ....


    Posted By Terence | Jul 2, 2007
    #9

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page

GreetingsGalleryOnline.com