Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!

Discussion in 'Essays' started by muhowhow, Feb 8, 2011.



    muhowhow New Member

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Message Count:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    So-cal
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    the first night of the transformation was the first time I noticed it happening. I was a good kid before this. Before anything happened I was good. I would never harm a being in any way, never was aggressive, nor was I ever in any mood to defend myself when need be. I started toughening up because humanity started to shed its happy disguise and I started to realise why I shouldn't let these people walk all over me. I started being mean to people sometimes, calling them out as idiots when it was "necessary". I started being more aggressive, and wasn't afraid to hurt animals any more. I found that I turned out to be a very arrogant person. Then I started noticing it.

    The first day I had no idea what was going on. I was walking around a mall and suddenly I got a feeling coming down on me... I saw someone walking up and I suddenly thought about me being able to strike her and not feel remorse. Strike her because I'm bored. The crazy thing is, I knew it was wrong but I didn't care. The feeling left me and I stood frozen in the middle of the stream of people, trying to figure out why that had happened. It happened several more times before the day was over. I was feeling pretty worried by the time I went to sleep.


    Later that night I had a dream. I couldn't see anything but black. I felt a presence in the room, and heard someone speak to me. That person sounded like a male but I couldn't be sure. It told me: "The world has forsaken you, so its time to let me in before that world drives you to madness..." I heard it, and then woke up.

    It was morning, on day two. Aside from the occasional "feeling" I didn't feel weird at all. Everything seemed to have been going fine. I got up, went to the bathroom and took a shower. Upon exiting, I noticed something odd in the mirror. I couldn't tell what, as my reflection was really blurred. I wiped it away and took a few steps in surprise. I stood there, but it wasn't completely me. It was me, only I was encased in some sort of dark smoke. Also, even though I was making a frown because I had been scared so bad, he had a grin on.

    The third day I felt completely normal except I had a general feeling of apathy. I felt like I was stronger. People told me I had changed. This is the point where I knew that I had been. It was too late however, and I was starting to like the new me. I should have turned back.

    The last day I woke up and felt no empathy for human life at all. I didn't care about anything, and was able to keep a straight face through anything. These accompanied by feeling really good made me realize I wasn't who I was anymore. This was the very last thing that ever scared me. I was me now. The new me.

    Today I woke up and felt the same as yesterday. I speak to you now because if it progresses any further it will leave me with no sense of humanity. This isn't a bad feeling. There is one thing you must always consider however. Is your family, friends, possessions, livelyhood, and morality all worth the ability to not feel pain both physical and psychological anymore? Would you give all that which makes you good for it? Would you give your soul? I did. Its not something you can come back from, but I've made my bed and I now must lie on it. It is a wonderful feeling but you must be prepared to be unable to return to being a human being again.


    Posted By muhowhow | Feb 8, 2011
    #1

    Azekiel-Horizon New Member

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Message Count:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    In Traffic Flipping Off Other Drivers
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Hey how you doing? Just finish reading your piece first off this was a deep piece thank for dropping it. I don't know if this was a poem or not because of the structure but I felt what you were trying to capture. I like the way how you exposed yourself throughout you told the struggles you were feeling with this transformation. All in all nice piece of work
  1. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    5,998
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In a cloud of smoke...
    Home page:
    Books:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +134 / 1 / -0
    Moved to Essays...

    So this is a true testimony of something made of psychological deepness huh? This write reminds me of the plight one must choose if he/she is to become a vampire by sheer will of choice extended. Or the phychological trauma of sorts one must go through when becoming part of certain religions which compells one to no longer consider repercussions of ones actions. It's a liberty of sorts most are not familiar with perhaps...? IDK.

    So I ask - what inspired this write Corey? It's an intriguing one - but yeah - I moved it to essays. Should it be in short stories?

    At anyrate - The last lines I quoted above basically says, "Want it? Own it!" And I love that concept.

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Feb 14, 2011
    #3

    muhowhow New Member

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Message Count:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    So-cal
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thank you for your support. One thing you'll find is that I like to write about the dark more than the light. I'm into darker writing because I feel like people kind of don't pay attention to it because we like to think of ourselves as pure, good, people. Most people have a darker side, something they really really hate, or something they do that is immoral. There are some that are like this in reverse, and live their life completely in misery because they don't like their lighter side. I feel like its just as unhealthy to ignore your darker side. Many of my darker writings can be attributed to my experience in embracing my darker side.

    Don't think of me as a vampire now. I am not. I am merely a human being that has embraced both the light and the dark of his life. Among other perks, this means I have a tolerance and can think about the bad things without getting too emotional. This makes me able to write great dramatic things. I love doing this, because its something I haven't ever seen very much of.

    My darker side is the 'demon' I write about. Most of what I write is true, but a little over exaggerated. My darker side did start showing itself in a very similar way to the 'demon'. I was scared because of the thoughts going around in my head. I did experience all of this, just not quite as bad as I make it sound for dramatic effect XD.


    Posted By muhowhow | Feb 14, 2011
    #4
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    5,998
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In a cloud of smoke...
    Home page:
    Books:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +134 / 1 / -0
    So when you say that ^ It begs me to the question of who or what did you give your soul too? And also - have you found that giving your soul up for whatever it is you're hoping we read between the lines to get... Has it been worth it? :)

    As for me personally - I straddle the fence of dark/light and apparently refuse to choose between the two... I've always imagined that selecting between the two forces of something so...essential, would be stupid.

    So I embrace both.

    Makes for a "more whole" person IMO - hmmm - Check out http://jpicforum.info/forum/miscellaneous/i-sober-6330.html --- it's totally about dark/light meeting and the resulting "storm" forms a rainbow. You can translate it that way anyway LOL


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Feb 14, 2011
    #5

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page

GreetingsGalleryOnline.com