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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Åströmmer New Member

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    A Random Loser

    Hey you! … You over there!
    No, no … Don’t roll you eyes
    Look! … At me!
    What? … What you say?
    Oh no, no you don’t … No, don’t run!
    Who do you think you are? … Yeah right, sure
    Loser! You’re a loser! … That’s what you are
    Well, don’t blame me … Blame your parents
    Blame school … Blame the world
    This is what you get … This and this
    WHAT!
    ... Say hello … To your … Ancestors sucker! …

    Excuse me … Please, could you please stop?
    What has he ever done to you? ... Nothing
    Then why you? … None of my business!
    If you don’t stop that … I have to call the cops
    Okay ... Okay … Never mind ... Never mind
    I GO!
    … Maniac! …

    My God … Again another one of these
    Check the wallet ... Robbed and no money, right?
    … ID? …
    So he’s a tourist … Man he walked into wrong neighbourhood
    Why don’t these … Idiots do their … Home work
    FUCK!
    … Loser …


    Posted By Åströmmer | May 6, 2008
    #1

    Virgin Rebel International Lover

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    creative piece, I was feeling the two different perespectives you gave about the topic. Good work.

    ~ Peace

    Åströmmer New Member

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    Thx Virgin Rebel :)

    That poem is something I built up in 5 minutes. I am kind of working on this kind of style to able to do it eventually smoothly and expressively. It's really hard I can tell you, but I'll get better I promise.

    Cheers, Åströmmer

    Tha-Emissary Black Knight!

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    Whew this took ook me for a spin. I'm on the rinse cycle trying to let the words dry out. I like the dialogue and it fits the theme well. I think This one is a Winner even though it's called Random Loser.

    Åströmmer New Member

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    Thx for the reply

    I'm glad that you noticed the tempo of the poem just as I wanted it to be. It feels just so nice to have such comments as you gave. Thank you very much! Cya later on the forum!

    Åströmmer

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