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    Bran Artus Kin New Member

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    This is kind of the conclusion of my previous poem...
    I'll try to put together something about a different topic next time :p

    Cliché Love Song

    I'm like a broken record with these lines,
    Your smile's sweet and your eyes are bright,
    You must have heard that many times,
    But every time I say it I see you in a brand new light.

    For each time your eyelids brush your eyes,
    A spark of soft and strong emotions,
    Lights so bright a fire it could make a cold stone cry.

    And every time your lips turn out a smile,
    It remains in my heart and mind a while.

    You seem impossible and far,
    But yet I see you – here you are!

    EDIT: The first part BTW is supposed to be Broken Maverick
    EDIT 2: Link: http://jpicforum.info/forum/emotional-romantic/broken-maverick-6537.html

    zaac Banned

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    this is actually pretty good. a little meter adjustment would make decent lyrics. saw nothing cliche about it.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Apr 14, 2011
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    That was beautiful! Lovely sentiments. I agree with Zaac ==> nothing cliche about these sentiments. The quoted above was quite novel and fresh actually.

    Do you record?

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 16, 2011
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    Bran Artus Kin New Member

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    Thank you both for your comment!

    It kinda felt chliche since I talk about eyes and smiles... again. :rolleyes:

    As in record music? In that case no... would need to be a good singer for that. :p
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    I was thinking not-cliche in terms of the cold stone crying lol
    And yeah - I was talking about music - since the piece is entitled "love song" - I thought perhaps these are lyrics to a song you may have written music to and recorded...


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 17, 2011
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