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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    [IMG]

    Another Sculptured Face

    When first I saw your sculptured face,
    sweet eyes that beg a warm embrace.
    I knew that we would always be,
    best of friends, my dog and me.
    You moved like magic round the ring,
    like lighting on a silver string.
    Your photos in the magazine
    admired like a beauty queen.
    But, soon another came along,
    to claim the star that you were on.
    Puppies born would share your fame,
    many played the dog show game.
    Time has passed and you are gone,
    but in your lineage, you live on.
    Just last week your great grandson,
    at six months old was number one.
    I looked into his sculptured face,
    remembering our first embrace.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 13, 2007
    #1

    Moonchild Moon Goddess of Whispers

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    Awwww...this is so sweet and very
    touching Jolie. I suppose it's a true story.
    Written in a good rhyme scheme and flow.
    I absolutely enjoyed every word, thanks!


    Posted By Moonchild | Aug 14, 2007
    #2

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Thank You,

    Parts of it are true. When I wrote this, I had in mind the years I worked for a dog show handler. We saw so many famouse dogs that were bred a lot. Then their puppies would come in to be shown. When clients would visit, they loved to talk dogs, so I heard many touching stories about dogs in the pedigrees, way back twenty and thirty years.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 14, 2007
    #3

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    JolieH..........as a dog lover myself, I enjoyed your poem very much. Also as a writer of rhymes, I was delighted with the flow of the meter. One tiny "nit" if I may. The only place that seemed to stumble a bit on the meter for me was this line:

    but in your line, your image lives on.

    Perhaps it would flow better to say:

    but in your lineage, you live on,


    Have a great day,

    Sartor


    Posted By Sartor | Aug 14, 2007
    #4
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Jolie,

    I loved this, was pleasing to see and put a smile on my face. I loved loved that title, and makes for a sculpture. Loved it and thank you for sharing, as I enjoyed it very much.

    Kim :)

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Thanks Sartor,
    Great fix. I appreciate the help. I've edited above.

    Thank you Kim,
    as always, you find the nicest complements.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 14, 2007
    #6

    MichelleML New Member

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    Way cool Jolie. Made me think of AJ and how hes getting older and when hes finished Ill have someone to show instead of him. Kinda made me wanna cry because I never want to stop showing him since he is such a good show dog. But the GSP is coming soon and that another breed so that doesnt matter. Thanks for sharing. I love this poem!! Great job!


    Posted By MichelleML | Aug 19, 2007
    #7

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Thanks Michelle,
    I know what you're saying. The dogs are part of our lives for such a short time. That's why they deserve lots of hugs and kisses.

    I added a photo to the poem above.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 19, 2007
    #8

    MichelleML New Member

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    And you got the right color of dog on there too!


    Posted By MichelleML | Aug 19, 2007
    #9

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Yep,
    Bad Leroy Brown -


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 19, 2007
    #10

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