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Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by moondance, Mar 29, 2013.



    moondance New Member

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    Deftly, calmly in death I can still protest.
    I can answer the prayers made while alive.
    Apathetic angels caught by war's unrest
    paradise is bare on earth firestarters thrive.
    On earth heaven haunted me now earth haunts
    me in heaven. I miss the lost the wind
    and homeless. In combat I heard the taunts
    from angels that boasted of a God blind
    to human miracles. Light arrives from eyes
    demanding the return of souls buoyed on
    Christly tears and grieving relatives will surmise
    about earthly demise and names on gravestones.
    Someone somewhere dreams of me in battle
    I am kept awake by the sound of death's rattle.


    Posted By moondance | Mar 29, 2013
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  1. Thinking

    Minellis'Vertigo Member

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    hi moondance
    I really enjoyed your poem. I feel there should be some comas in places, just made me read a sentence or two wrong the first time around. Regardless those last 4 lines are something else!
    "grieving relatives will surmise
    about earthly demise and names on gravestones.
    Someone somewhere dreams of me in battle
    I am kept awake by the sound of death's rattle."

    Thanks!

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