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Discussion in 'Spoken Word & Freestyle' started by Wind, Dec 7, 2012.



  1. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Broken pen


    I wanted to write the truth that came from my heart but in the end I wrote the problems that been eating me from the start. Can you image the pen writing solely for this purpose just to be knocked down by my own thoughtless words? Those unwritten words, those shreds from my heart, the pointless promises, and the overbearing confident, how did I manage to corrupt them all?
    Hiding from my own pain while I hurt other, is this not the demon I create?
    No more a hypocrite then you is lost filled. Stampede, riot, tear down, these are how I describe my own action. My own words burned me, my own words destroyed me, my own words bound me, and my own words create a world filled with my own lies. Funny isn't it? Destroyed by the very thing I created. Be I Dr. Frankenstein and my word Frankenstein such a reference defies me to the point of fear. Forgive and forget, walk into the sun and burn, become my bride and let’s walk toward a moon rising wonder. I struggle to find out who I am and who we are but won’t this lead me to my grave? Is it a mission I wish to take and for who sake? Dreaming for an innocent heart but done so imperfectly it too late. Let my unwritten words love me and lose me, damaging me with blue fires, be forgotten from my memories and sleepless night trying to recover. Such a helpless thing as I watch a demon take me away and bring me back from time to time again. Bloody mask full of lies, full of fear, and tears. Where does the words fly to once I forget them, I wrote my own truth and the heart filled problems that had eaten me. What a way to use my broken pen .


    Posted By Wind | Dec 7, 2012
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  2. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Broken pen, indeed. You've always exposed yourself to the world and this time is no different. How many other writers are willing to admit what pain they've caused others and what they want to do to atone.

    Raw emotion, painful truth is what you bring to this community, Wind.
    Great write,
    Gail
  3. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    I've exposing what inside.If no one is honest to how they feel then who will?


    Posted By Wind | Dec 28, 2012
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  4. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    No one .... Again this piece took some effort to read and piece together. Is it a Poem, or a piece of Prose? I cannot tell with the way it is written. I agree with Butchiesmom though ..... This is a raw and emotional write.


    Posted By Mysty | Jan 13, 2013
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  5. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Yes, the raw emotion...he raw words. If I could put them into actions..they'll be forgotten to soon so I can't I write them?


    Posted By Wind | Jan 14, 2013
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  6. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hmm - I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to express here... But if I translate correctly are you being defensive? "Yes, the raw emotions, the raw words. If I could put them into actions, they'd be forgotten too soon. So why shouldn't I right them?"

    Sounds like an excuse for poorly written work if you ask me.
    And I should know = I'm Queen of Bad Excuses.

    Of course - again.. I'm not quite sure I understand what you're trying to express here. You should start to edit yourself/writing Wind. And I should know - because I'm the QueenKing of Badly Edited RealLife. LOL :king:

    Anyway - please correct me if I've misunderstood, which I'm almost sure I have...

    J.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 14, 2013
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  7. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Poor excuse it might be, but actions will be forgotten if not written down. The Broken Pen was written while thinking of the reason why pens break....yup...wrote it because I broke my pen. Then writing what I, myself do in the course of weeks of thinking thoughts. But I can see why it seems poorly written. Also I've done revision on every last one of my poems on all of your advice.. just I have yet to post any of them...including the new ones
    • Like Like x 1


    Posted By Wind | Jan 15, 2013
    #7
  8. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Ah. Kinda awesome to find inspiration in something as mundane as a broken pen right!? Nice!

    This is nice to know. Now I'm looking forward to reading your newer works.
    Be sure to spread the poetic love around to others before posting ;)


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 15, 2013
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  9. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Yes, of course. Thank you ^^


    Posted By Wind | Jan 16, 2013
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  10. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hiya Wind :) I too am so happy you have taken our advice and I am looking forward to reading the revisions and your new work! Way to go Girl and I hope, I hope, I hope..... Everything will seem clearer too us with your revisions.
    • Like Like x 1


    Posted By Mysty | Jan 28, 2013
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  11. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Thank you very much. Since my poem weren't understood that no good since they have these meaning that I want to be knownn


    Posted By Wind | Feb 1, 2013
    #11

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