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  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Poetry Garden New Member

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    Chocolate Melting


    I want to be a flower that blooms at midnight

    My scent lingering in the night air

    While waiting for the morning dew

    To kiss her every petal


    I want to be like butter melting on a piece of toast

    Seeping in the bread until it is completely saturated

    Then I want to be spread with sweet preserves

    Making me deliciously irresistible


    I want to be like rain that falls in summer

    Falling hard with the thunder

    Then easing off slowly

    So that everything is soaked through and through


    I want to be like coffee percolating

    Drifting aromatically through the air

    Filling the house full of my scent

    So that no one can resist filling their cup with me


    I want to be like chocolate

    Melting on a tongue

    Sending signals to the brain

    That say I want more of that

    …lots more

    ©dp







  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hiya Danette.. this is truly lovely .. but the size does somewhat retract..... I like to view a poem in its entirety .. gives the poem shape and vision... to be able to see it all at once.

    The only thing I might change other than size is this stanza as all the other ones refer to "I" not her so I would change stanza one to this



    Just my humble opinions though ... otherwise this is simply STUNNING. I Love it and ooh I so too want to be like melting chocolate. *Sighs* ..... do we wish for too much?


    *Hugs*
    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Oct 2, 2007
    #2

    Poetry Garden New Member

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    That makes sense Mysty and I value your humble opinion (hugs)...it's changed

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Danette,
    You want to be such wonderful things, such tempting and irristible treats.
    I like the images you've shown because they are things we all love.


    Posted By JolieH | Oct 2, 2007
    #4
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Whew...chocolate is my very favorite dessert, and you just made me starving for a piece!

    My favorite is the first stanza...it's SO exotic and reminds me of dark velvety petals waiting for a moonlight kiss. Beautiful imagery!!

    Nomad

    Poetry Garden New Member

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    Thank you JolieH and Nomad...appreciate you taking time to read my poetry in such a busy world...this was a fun write for me ( I love to stir emotions more than anything *giggle*)
    Thanks again!

    PoetryInMotion PoetryInMotion

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    Danette...You did it again...little lady...My favorite part is.

    I want to be like rain that falls in summer

    Falling hard with the thunder

    Then easing off slowly

    So that everything is soaked through and through


    Loved your poem...You are all of the above and I love you so...Your friend Art (PIM)
  3. Cheeky

    lasher Member

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    Hey now PG,

    Yeah, great visuals.... You chose some mighty fine subjects to be, I love the scent of night blooming flowers, breakfast is an art - and chocolate? mmmmmmmm chocolate...... Quick!
    Pour me a cup of your coffee.......................
    Nice write PG.....


    Posted By lasher | Oct 4, 2007
    #8

    Aumakua Misunderstood

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    This poem is so unique. I love it :) The things you used in your poem (like chocolate and rain) are really eye catching and things everyone loves. Great job ^^


    Posted By Aumakua | Oct 5, 2007
    #9

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