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Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by SuzyQ, Jun 20, 2011.



    SuzyQ Member

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    Since I seem to be plagued with writer's block for the last 3 or 4 months, I've been posting some of my older stuff. This is one of my favorite forms to write. It's a "Grossblank" poem (created by Larry Gross), which is a form written in iambic meter, 12 lines, 12 syllables per line, unrhymed. (12x12=1 gross) (for correct syllable count, the word coyote is pronounced; kī-ō'-tē)




    Coyote Moon

    Alone, I lie beneath the desert's velvet sky
    and gaze beyond its starry depths to reminisce.
    Above, a soulful moon is gazing down on me
    and sends me to a special night of you and I.

    Remember when we two surrendered to the moon?
    Cocooned in darkness and each other's arms, we howled,
    becoming lunar wild, nocturnal drunk in love,
    while through the night, coyotes serenaded us.

    So many moons have passed since we were young and free,
    though none possessed my soul as did that one with you.
    I wonder, do you think of us on starry nights
    when in the sky appears a full coyote moon?


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 20, 2011
    #1

  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    hmm... now this puts me in the mind of a dark moonless night...not sure why... it's very visceral. Grips you in the crux of the memories... some regret that that person isn't standing there in front of you, and you both watching the moon from different cities, continents, etc. ... very nice!

    Nomad :beach:

    SuzyQ Member

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    Thank you very much Nomad, for commenting. I actually have nothing but good memories of that relationship (unlike some others, that I wouldn't dare try to write about... haha). Absolutely no regrets for either of us (I think:unsure:).
    SuzyQ


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 27, 2011
    #3
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    One of the things I loved about this piece was the fact .....as I interpret......that she was alone and {spoke} as if her past love was right there, next to her. I say spoke instead of thought because It felt more intimate to me, as if she was indeed calling out like a coyote. This paints a beautiful picture in my mind. Thank you for sharing!

    Painted :giftrose:
  3. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Such an intimate portrait of truelove I've just read. I didn't read it as a reminiscing of something that no longer exists, but as a reminiscing, you and your lover still together after so many years...just reminiscing about the good ol' days.

    Even more so than the intimacy is the depth of skill which you CONQUERED the Grossblank poetic form Suzy! Wow. There's so much I like about this write, the phrasing is just so delicately structured, internal rhyme throughout made it a real delight to read:

    This stanza in particular just fed my mind a poetical high.

    Indeed I'd never actually heard of the grossblank form until now. I'll have to do a bit of research. If there is plenty of data regarding the form -- even if very little data, but enough to construct an informative addition - I'll add it to our types of poetry section.

    Thanks for the wonderful share!

    Jacquii.

    ---------- Post added at 09:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 PM ----------

    btw - I know some country folks who pronounce coyote as "kI-yote" lol - so thanks for the clarification :p
    Also - I'm a little curious... When was this piece written? And was it written to a lover or...?


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 28, 2011
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    SuzyQ Member

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    Hi Painted.... thanks for your thoughts and kind words.
    I love that... wish I'd thought of it! :)

    Jacquii.... this is one of my favorite types of poetry to write. I seem to go back to it a lot. Thank you, too, for your kind words. This was probably written four years ago and was about a time and a lover before my husband. I wrote it for myself and not necessarily to him (since I have no idea where he is... it's been 30+ years after all)

    SuzyQ


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 28, 2011
    #6

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