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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    lanaia74 New Member

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    I hear the voices laughing and jeering at me
    Taunting me, making such fun of me
    They are the demons of my mind and soul
    Why can't these lurid ghosts set me free?

    Possessing my very soul, they mock me
    Driving me to do things I wouldn't even speak of
    If only from them I could flee
    Flying away on the wings of a dove.

    They try to convince me of everything untrue
    Awful things, evil things, things I would never think
    Constantly hearing them for peace I yearn
    They make the very essence of my soul burn.

    Feeling as if they deplete all the energy from my core
    Fighting them virtually impossible because I feel so weak
    Controlling my every move hoping I'd make the wrong choice, if I dare
    People say get help but what kind of help should I seek?

    Seeking a cure didn't ever work
    They would just talk louder to be heard
    In the midst of my mind I think they will always be
    I want them to leave and no longer lurk.


    Posted By lanaia74 | Dec 8, 2006
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    mbironneau Member

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    Hmmm...I wonder what inspired this piece, lol!:girl_devil:

    No seriously, I really like the mood of the poem. You use the "demonic" imagery to a great effect on the reader (on me, at least). I also like how you move away from the imagery little by little and relate the piece more to real life, getting less and less abstract until the reader knows for sure what you're talking about but still has the evil imagery stuck in his mind. Great work!


    Posted By mbironneau | Dec 8, 2006
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  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    I love how you paint your "genre" of dark poetry .....beautifully. You have a very unique style that is extraordinary! The imagery was exceptional, and the poem was well executed. Yes, I noticed how with small doses, the audience was coaxed to the reality as well. Fantabulous write. Thank you for sharing!!!!

    Painted ;)

    Nikos Tselepides New Member

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    Well-worded, smooth poem.

    I wonder what lies under it--I mean if any difficult problems in the writer's life provoked this poem.

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