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Discussion in 'Emotional Romantic' started by KingAce, Jul 16, 2006.



    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Descent


    Down in the depths of Descending emotions she stands,
    Accompanied only by distraught thoughts,
    unraveled into voices that tell their story,

    "I used to trust you"
    Ringing repeatedly the voices are becoming familiar,
    Expectations are now at mountanous levels,
    She went from not being able to, to not wanting to,
    No reaction left when they say she can do anything,

    "I used to care for you"
    Relationship is numb in meaning, likewise for feeling,
    Perfect seems untouchable as well as anything close to it,
    She mumbles something but she cannot hear her own voice,
    Mind is now clouded by vicious visions, disturbing nightmares,

    "I used to depend on you"
    Unable to fabricate an explanation she continues to wade in hurt,
    Self-reliance forces itself upon your self-conscience,
    Right and wrong are decided solely by which will allow control over pain,
    Her senses are unconscious as she tunes out society,

    "I used to respect you"
    No longer clenching her undivided attention,
    You are someone withdrawing from her life mentally,
    Physically you are translucent to her,
    Words that flow from your mouth hold no signifigance,

    "I used to not be disappointed"
    She knows that her loss of feeling for you is apparent,
    With no way to re-enter her life,
    She wishes you well and that you can change for others,
    Her last words to you are spoken to the night,

    "I used to love you..."


    Posted By KingAce | Jul 16, 2006
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  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear KingAce,
    This was a masterpiece. From the moment I read the title, I knew I would be in for a treat! The title sums up so much of what "is to come", if you will. I love the beginning lines, with each descent. Truly genious really. The words were perfectly matched within each stanza. You made the "EMOTION" come ALIVE. I really felt this person becoming less and less in love, and the imagery was brilliant. Was this from a personal experience? If I may ask? You do not have to answer that. From what depth the words come, is why I ask. BRAVO POET!!!!

    Much Luv'...~*Painted Diary*~
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hey KINGACE - Very interesting piece - Itwas like watching someone spiral out of control and ending up desperate & LEFT.

    She wishes you well and that you can change for others,
    Her last words to you are spoken to the night,

    "I used to love you..."


    One can only take so much before it's "Well you used to bla bla bla bla bla bla bla - Now I'm gone! Do bad by your damnself!" Ya know? LOL - I think you do, let your poetic Masterpiece tell it.

    But really - Love the story-telling aspect of this poem - It was better than an episode of Days Of Our Lives any day of the week!! :yes:

    I enjoyed this read KINGACE - Thanx for sharing it!
    And again - Welcome to JPiC.

    Jacquii


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jul 17, 2006
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    thelioness New Member

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    Interesting the way you describe the withdrawl piece by piece. Reading this I could see each stage as it unfolded and the words felt familiar to me because I have gone through these stages of detachment. Very compelling read about the unraveling of a relationship and the pain it leaves.


    Posted By thelioness | Jul 18, 2006
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    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Thank you for reading my poem...this is a real life experience in multiple scenarios and cases, it happens but the best of us comes after recovering from a heart break...you know more and life changes overall; Once again thank you


    Posted By KingAce | Jul 20, 2006
    #5

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