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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


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    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    A ray of sunshine
    sprinkled, dancing
    free and easy
    cavorting around
    a cloudless sky
    sneaking slowly
    its freedom rays
    seeking a welcome
    from blackened brick
    and broken glass.

    It cast an eye upon the house
    standing tall and tilted vast
    glanced upon an empty window
    snuck inside...its rays acast
    black smoke lingered
    in corners still
    a babe still squalled
    so near a hill
    of dirt.

    Debris rained down
    littering the still hot ground
    it only took
    one misguided bomb
    no father came
    no mother sang
    no more but cries of hunger rang
    upon the sunlit, mournful morn.

    A child crept in
    too quietly
    large eyes straining
    full lips trembling
    he ran to grab the wee sibling
    through smoke
    and new grown agony
    nowhere to shelter
    no one to look to
    to nourish... love
    none to hug the trembling bodies
    to say “it’s ok my sweet darling"
    no one, no one
    no one.

    He slowly turned
    unbelieving and horror-struck
    under the vast blue sky
    new world
    ahead
    occupied by
    him
    the new adult.

    © nomadicrhymer

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    This tears at my heart of the tragedy of war. And it does happen just as you've written it. IN past wars we rebuilt the countries that we conquered and tried to restore the people who were not the problem of the leadership. War it is a terrible thing.

    Jerry


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Sep 3, 2007
    #2
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    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Jer, thanks for reading and commenting...I appreciate your first hand, experienced opinion! Thanks again!! :yay:

    Nomad

    Yuuko Sleepyholic

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    Written in a smooth way, the poem is heart-wrenching...the insidious ray of light tricks into thinking that maybe there's still hope but the outcome is far from it...as it always is when it comes down to wars and unneeded bloodshed.
    Very good.


    Posted By Yuuko | Sep 3, 2007
    #4
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    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Thanks for reading Yuuko....I appreciate your input and the comments you left!! :yay:

    Nomad
  4. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Ms Nomad.....:w::o::w:

    This is indeed heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching. This is so sad and so realistic. It rains like blood splatter down a blank canvas. First I want to say that your "War Series" is phenomenal. Such mastery and words carefully chosen and intricately placed. You put thought into it and have the expertise to allow your audience to see farther, beyond, and be a part of. It is felt on many levels. This war, past wars and such are so painful, and often times governed by a false leader, with false hope, and a stay too long in office. One of my co-workers just lost a younger brother a week or so ago in Iraq, and my heart goes out to all. I think this series is educational, memorable, and perhaps some will find comfort in your words of hope. Forgive me for calling the poems your "War Series", and I say that for lack of better words, as you may have a name for the series. Nonetheless, I am honored to read them, and it is honorable for you to scribe them. Excellent work Therese, excellent work, and an excellent rating in my opinion. I see a whole new level of exceptional writing evolve from these poems. Thank you for writing and posting them.

    PD :)

    zaac Banned

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    wow...this is well written but freaked me out a bit. started out with an awesome persona of a sunbeam and turned into world war three...kinda like a roller coaster in the dark...wild.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Sep 10, 2007
    #7
  5. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    You freak out that easy nowadays, zaac? lol! Thanks for reading, tho...appreciate it!

    Nomad

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