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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Karma Diving in Head First

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    I wasn't sure where to put this because technically it does rhyme, but it follows no true rhythmic 'pattern'...anyhow, I haven't posted in a while and thought I would put this in and see what you all thought...negative feedback is as good as positive feedback in my eyes :)


    Have you ever felt your mind deteriorate? A losing of yourself?
    Becoming only part of something; completely apart of the whole?
    Looking at this fiery pit, this black and abhorred abyss
    can you help but ponder? Wonder? Wasn’t there once a soul?
    The loss it seems to be dark specks; a fuzzy tv show.
    Then the torrential downfall comes, a typhoon in the night.
    The napalm hole you stared at not so long ago, so all consuming
    has all but consumed you as you stand within, barely left with fight.
    The thunder crowds the sound out of your once in one piece mind.
    The dark drops grow larger, less and less of you. When there are pieces left in play
    all you can do is cry and scream; and beg mercy from a God in whom you never believed.
    Lightning comes, mercifully silent, leaving you more than less blind and on your blasphemous knees you decide to pray.
    Without sight and without sound, you still know right from wrong; control, though, you do not know.
    But with strong conviction, you are certain, it wasn’t you who did these dark dreary deeds.
    The blackness that surrounds you, the very one from which you tried to escape,
    Is in complete control, and for what you do it does not ask, your permission not one of it’s needs.
    It walks and it talks and it hears and it sees.
    Does it know right from wrong? Is it what was meant to be?
    From strobe light pictures, in which it lets you see the things you’ve done in it’s dark grasp,
    you know that it does not. And it is not. Yet still you are left only with this, “How has this become me?”


    Posted By Karma | May 1, 2007
    #1

    Jeez Banned

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    Dana,

    This is a dark and
    very depressing
    write, it must be
    terrible to feel
    that way.

    To be suspended
    in the shadows of
    life...

    how did it become
    you??

    Thanks for the
    read:frown:


    Posted By Jeez | May 1, 2007
    #2

    Karma Diving in Head First

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    Well, I just write dark. Not necessarily a depressed or psychotic (at least not that psychotic ^ ^, lol) type of person. So I suppose that through imagination it became me and my fancy of darker writing encourages a wild imagination I assure you, lmao...

    I appreciate that you read this :thankyou:

    Dana


    Posted By Karma | May 1, 2007
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    FTD4KiNG Member

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    I can feel where you are coming from...
    This realm I to visit ever so often,
    It surges deep within and no one knows but the person who's been on that troubled path,
    Expressing it sometimes becomes a cry for help although you may not need it from a human,
    It is often mistaken as a trip to the shrink than a battle within!
    I love the dark and I can see light in it!
    I saw light in your piece...Thanks For sharing that with us!

    Peace & Love
    KiNG


    Posted By FTD4KiNG | May 8, 2007
    #4
  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Darkness is the path to light. You will find your way one day... Good writing Dana

    ~Mysty~


    Posted By Mysty | May 12, 2007
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  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Dana,

    Yes, this is very dark, and swallowing. At times, there seems to be no hope at all, then there is a slither of light. This is your genre as you have stated, and for your genre this was an excellent write. Different people will interpret this piece differently. Some view dark poetry as a means of healing, some attach religion to it.

    I also can see the beauty in writing the dark pieces as one's imagination can run ramped. Such a journey into the dark can release the unpredictable, the unknown, the taboo, the revelation, the creativity, the twilight zone, and infinite possibilities. So continue to spread your literary wings, explore, and I see you already paint poetry as being boundless. Thank you for the share!

    {{{{{~~~***PAINTED***~~~}}}}:)

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