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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Did I tell you I love you today?
    I did and you slapped me across my face
    After telling me at knife-point that you hated me
    You hated our children
    You hated yourself
    Then you threw me on the floor and stomped my face till
    Blood meandered from my eyes, my ears, and mouth
    Even after my nose crackled, I can still smell your new boots
    Our kids are at Grandma’s house, so they won’t see
    Me broken again
    You left to charm the nearest bar and left me again
    Broken
    I had a plan this time
    I want you to know that I do love you
    But can’t hurt me anymore
    Twine is good I think
    I just bought it yesterday and it is Martha Stewart’s finest
    You will have to clean this time
    I’m fed up, climbed up
    Twine scratches my neck some, I’m crying one last time
    Kicking the chair from under my feet
    I did tell you I love you today
    I did tell you I love you
    I did tell you I love
    I did tell you I
    I did tell you
    I did tell
    I did
    I

    PD




    [/SIZE][/B]

  2. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Oh Wow! I wasn't expecting that end! I was really hoping she'd tie him up and beat the bejeezes out of him!

    This is so true! So many abusers are charming enough they fool everyone. Then the abused one gets abused again when not believed!

    Kim, I'm so glad you wrote this and unfortunately this is so true!

    hugs,
    Gail
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Yes Gail....the charming fool everyone and the abused often times are left feeling like there is no alternative. Sometimes too late. Thank you for taking time to read and to comment. Unfortunately this is a true story.

    Kim
  4. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    :wow: PD, the art form is masterful and the content is gripping, fast-paced, gritty, and most of all tells a story that is a time bomb for many, many women out there. I would not like to encourage them toward the same end, because I feel that there is always another alternative, such as leaving and getting some help...heck, moving to another country!...but, PD...what a piece of writing you have made of it! Awesomeness, in the words of Ms. J.!!

    Nomad

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    I wish this person would have had courage to change her life - for her sake, for the children's sake.
    No love is worth such tragic ending. It's selfish for this person to leave the children to face what she could not. This is such a sad write PD.


    Posted By JolieH | May 13, 2008
    #5
  5. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    I agree with you Jolie 100%...thank you for reading and commenting.

    PD

    booobooo Welcome To SAM's World

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    So Much Of Love...

    So Much Of Hatered...

    Glad I Am What I Am As I Do Not Know What Love Is...

    Glad I Am What I Am As I Do Not Know What Hatered Is...

    I Am No One...


    Posted By booobooo | May 16, 2008
    #7
  6. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Ms Nomad,

    :yay:...you got it! I was experimenting with a new form...was not sure...but am so glad you read. Thank you for taking time to read and to comment. I too agree about the outcome and the alternative ways to get OUT of the situation...

    I wanted it to be gritty and fast-paced like the life, the emotions, and the "what about" questions...thank you so much Ms Nomad. Take care.

    Kim :)
    --------------------------
    --------------------------
    Dear booobooo,

    Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate your commentary.

    Painted
  7. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    This is when the Bitch poors some sort of hydrochloric acid right on time into the boots so that the bastard can step into the boots - scream loudly and pull out a nub.

    This is some wicked piece of writing. The decrescendo effect worked and was a bit stunning, only solidifying the need to cut down the filthy fuck who would perpetrate such a crime against humanity.

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 20, 2008
    #9
  8. Angelic

    stardust JPiC Contributor

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    Dear Ms. Kim:
    Wooowww!!! I am perplexed after reading your story-poem. I am glad that you have brought this subject alive, the subject of: "DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and CHILD ABUSE."
    There are so many women and children out there, who are VICTIMS of cruel men.
    I could feel the story as a true story for many women, including myself. I was a victim of men, who used to abuse me physically and mentally. I reacted towards them with the same kind of violence. They stubbed me first, and I stubbed them back. I stubbed them, but they did not die... They got the scars. I guess, I could have killed them, at least, with my mind...Of course, I left them long long ago... I have a new life nowadays. I am another woman with more respect towards myself. THANKS GOD!! If you have ever noticed, I sometimes write about these things. Many women suffer the DRAMA OF FAMILY VIOLENCE IN THEIR OWN HOMES. That is very sad!! There should be MORE LAWS TO PROTECT WOMEN and CHILDREN. I think!!
    I defend Women´s Rights and Children´s Rights!!
    I defend Human Rights and Animal´s Rights!! So, in other words, I AM FOR LIFE.
    I truly appreciate your story-poem so much, because it enhances a fact of life and makes people think about it. Thank you so much, Ms. Kim, for sharing your poetic talents with us!! God bless you in all you do!!
    Cordially,
    Starry.


    Posted By stardust | May 20, 2008
    #10

    SarahNSH New Member

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    Hello Kim!

    As you know I read a lot of your Novel chapters but I believe this is my first time reading a poem of yours... and I certainly wasn't disappointed! The first thing that took me in was the form of this poem and how it went from one extreme to another drew me immediately in. With the first line being "Did I tell you I love you today?" and the next being "I did and you slapped me across my face" that this really grabbed my attention and I was asking myself, "What happened to this woman? And what is she going to do to get away from this man?"

    I loved how it ended with each word being taken off until finally there is just one word left. I also think that this form of one word being removed with each line reflects what is happening to the woman, she's repeating the same thing to herself and losing strength with the chair kicked out from her until finally she has no thought left. It was a twist with what she was going to do about the situtation and my thought with when the twine was mentioned was different than what happened. And, as you know, I love something being unpredictable so that was an interesting twist to it.

    So, I thought that was really smart and a great way to show what is happening to her as well with the last lines winding down with the poem. This is a really sad poem but very strong as well with the message that you're telling the reader. I'm glad that I came across this poem of yours and thanks for sharing it with us, Kim!


    Posted By SarahNSH | May 24, 2008
    #11
  9. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Ms Jacquii, Ms Stardust and Sarah,

    Thank you all soooo much for reading and commenting on this. This is an important topic and Ms Stardust I applaud ALL that you do and will continue to spread the word! Ms Jacquii the HCL would have been one of my solutions definitely! Sarah...yes...that is exactly the effect I was going for and I wanted to experiment with doing a story-poem. The one-word taken off each time did indeed reflect what she was think and going through. It is very very sad.
    This story-poem was derived from the stories I heard about a woman in my neighborhood. From what I understand, she did in fact get help and etc., but was extremely weak in spirit, so she would always go back She moved and he found her and being scared, she let him manipulate her into moving back. Again from what was told to me, when she moved, she moved into shelters and never told that her husband was an abuser because he took such great care of the kids, and the home financially. The mother did not work.

    She did not think enough of the kids and her safety to get away and stay away. In fact, she loved this man sooo much that she thought that one day...maybe he would change. People say this monster was an excellent father to the kids, though he expressed that he hated the kids to his buddies at his favorite bar. Also from what I understand, he never abused the kids and people say it appeared that he could take the title of "father of the year", every year.

    Another part of the story is that she kept it quiet, did not tell her parents, his parents, or any family that abuse was going on. I was also told afterwards, that she did not want anyone to know, and that made it easy for him to continue the abuse along with the fact that he did not leave many bruises physically. He would slap her, stomp her face, choke her, throw her in the home, and etc. being conscience and careful not to leave evidence, for people to question, keeping his horrid reputation up.

    I asked someone who was friends with the family, why didn't the grandparents, shelter or friends call services on this monster, since obviously there was something going on regardless of his perfect image. No one seemed to know that answer. So so so sad. Truly a disgrace to humanity as Ms Jacquii has stated.

    Last I heard, the kids, the boy who is 9 and the girl who is 10 are living with the mother's parents in another state, and he was arrested based on the letter she left behind, and other things. I was told she felt that she could only tell the truth in letter form after she took her life because she was afraid he would kill her anyway, she loved him regardless of what anyone said, did not want to be alive when they came to get him, and in her mind she felt she was doing the right thing. Oh my goodness.

    One never really knows what goes on in the minds of some of these woman. Thank you all for your commentary.

    Kim
  10. Angelic

    stardust JPiC Contributor

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    Oh!! My dear Ms. Kim,:hooray:
    I feel so happy to hear from you again. I am truly happy to be back at JPiC Forum for Poets and Writers, so that we could feel like a real Online Family. Awesome!!
    Well, about your story-poem, I can tell you again what I have already told you before...
    In fact, I wrote a story-poem myself about this kind of issue, the crime of domestic violence.
    It is indeed, a very sad poem. You are telling us in your last comment that the lady killed herself in the end, because she was afraid that he would kill her anyway. It is a TRUE STORY.
    Ms. Kim, I encourage you to spread the words out about these kind of horrible things, horrible crimes against women and children. People should be aware of these crimes, people should know, and people should care more and more, as these crimes progress, due to the fact perpetrators are still out there in the streets, and nobody punishes them. They should be in jail for life imprisonment.
    These crimes take the form of killing the body and the mind of women and children at the same time.
    Metaphorically speaking, it is like the cruel hunter who kills the mother deer without killing her baby venisome. Yet in reality, the hunter is killing both, the mother and her baby who depends on her to survive. I have seen these sort of things throughout my lifetime, and nobody does anything for real to erase these crimes from the face of this Earth forever. Please, Ms. Kim, do continue writing story-poems with inspirational tales for the readers to enjoy and bask in the beauty of your poetical writings.
    Awesome poem!! Awesome story!! (((I ALSO WROTE A TRUE STORY, SWEETHEART...)))
    You are an awesome writer, Ms. Kim. Thank you for sharing this story with us!!
    God bless you always, in every single manner, Ms. Kim!!
    All the Best,
    Starry.:toot:
    P.S.: About the same crime, I have just composed a story-poem which I called: "BIG MOTHER."


    Posted By stardust | Jan 27, 2011
    #13
  11. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Thank you Ms. Starry for bumping this poem. It's a nice reminder that we have some quality works posted here at JPiC :wow:

    Kim. This poem... After all these years - it's still poignant. And sad. A masterpiece in bottom-feeding-humanity. You know I grew up in a home where my Mama was physically abused. It was a horrible experience for all concerned. I only thank all the fates that she was strong enough woman to not succumb to the abuse. I suppose there's a point in our life when we have to say, "Stop! Enough is enough!"

    That being said, I can totally understand how one would want to hide such reality from everybody else. I was just saying the other day that "Most times perception trumps reality" -- It's just sad that the abused woman in your piece decided to put forth that front, as opposed to screaming for help...

    Anyway - thanks again for posting this piece. If there is anything we can take away from it - we will have to take away the lesson-learned that SILENCE EQUALS DEATH.. I only hope that any number of women out there who have been abused and any woman who is currently being abused will happen upon this poem and gain some semblance of strength, as to scream for help before it's too late!
  12. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thank you dear ladies for indeed bumping this up, reading, as well as commenting again. The story is definitely poignant, and still I often think of this tragedy. Yes, that should NOT have happened, as we have help, and she would have been helped and her children safe.

    Often times, there is a weakness in some, and that strength your Momma found Ms Jacquii (which I am so happy she found it, however, my heart sank reading your commentary), and yes Silence will equal Death, if gone unsaid. So so sad.

    Dear Ms Starry...thank you so much for reading and commenting. My storem (story + poem) is one of many yes, and will be heard and read where it is needed, I have made sure of it, like my poem "White Diary." I wish she found the strength in her lowest moment.

    Thanks again ladies. Love to you both.

    Painted:ss-wink:
  13. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Love in exchange for pain .. isnt that always so difficult but you continue to live, to breathe with a broken heart till you decide yu had enough .


    Posted By JONATHAN | Feb 14, 2011
    #16
  14. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Sometimes you choose to continue with the business of living and breathing IN SPITE of a broken heart Jon. I know one thing though - there's only so many times you can smack me around and I not turn around and beat the hell outta you with somebody's frying pan LMAO :p

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