Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    This....was a reply to a friend...when we were fighting about a couple things, some about how we don't talk enough, etc...he said this
    "True friends don't need each other. When you need someone, you use them. Do you hate the fact that you can't use me?"

    and at this point, I was feeling pretty crappy. so here's my rant.



    I'm sorry.
    what else can i say?

    i can't point it to hormones.
    i can't point it to human nature.
    i can't point it to stupidity.
    i just have to point at myself.

    and the fact is, i need someone.
    i'm not like you.
    i'm not self-sufficient.
    you can preach about saying that true friends don't need each other.
    you can say it all you want.
    and if you believe that's true, then you're going to want to find a true friend somewhere else, because i'm not it.

    I'm sorry if i don't fit your visions of a perfect friend.
    or a true friend.
    or even a good friend.

    and you know why i wanted to keep away?
    because i've realized that i'm just a poison to those around me.
    and you can preach that you have to change yourself.
    that you have to be better.
    that you can do all things through God.
    but chances are, i'm too deep to feel like doing anything.

    we can all say that we need to do what's right.
    and maybe just being around screws everyone over.
    and that's not right.

    and if i leave, you won't need me, because you say that's what true friends are.
    and then it's ok.
    it's ok if i go away.
    far away.
    and just leave.

    it's ok if i stop being around.
    stop hurting others, because no one needs me.

    it's ok that instead of hating myself, i don't have to hate anything anymore.
    it's ok that instead of crying myself to sleep, i don't have to shed anymore tears.
    it's ok that instead of trying to block my mind from the thoughts of things, i don't have to think anymore.
    it's ok that instead of having to express myself, i don't have to be anyone anymore.

    and that's ok. because i'm not giving up.
    i'm just letting go.
    and doing what's right for everyone else.
    and my self doesn't matter.
    because i'm not benefiting myself anyway.

  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    :crutches:
    we use our friends
    as crutches
    to hold us up
    in times we feel
    downtrodden
    and sad...

    they use us
    to feel needed
    in times they
    feel benevolent...
    and vice versa

    ...your "friend-not"
    is just a user of
    people and
    should be
    pitied.

    :ss-wink:

    don't sweat da small stuff...:knitting:knit ur friend-family tightly so that nothing can leak thru.

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    thanks nomad...
    *huggles*
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,653
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Channeling Rainbow
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +20 / 0 / -0
    :wow: Dear Ms Mango,

    I believe you response was appropriate, and soooo true. Actually, it was great! So sad, to think this happened, yet time to move on. My grandmother used to say, you can put a pan of water on the back burner of a stove, and put on slow simmer, when feuding, but eventually, all the water is going to evaporate in the air as memories, or condense in our hearts and continue to hurt. Thank you for sharing. I know you were a great friend.

    {{{{~~~***PD***~~~}}}}:wub:

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thanks PD for your kindness...
    i guess it did change him, we he apologized afterwards....

    but i still don't know what to do.
    I want to forgive him, and I have....but I don't want to keep putting myself out there, like nothing happened, because I keep on getting hurt.
    so how do i forgive, yet not keep getting hurt?
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,653
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Channeling Rainbow
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +20 / 0 / -0
    Dear Ms Mango,

    I see you are a wonderful friend, and you have forgave him. You always stay true to yourself, and always let him know that you only accept honesty. Sooooo, to keep getting hurt, due to his lack of learning his lesson, may end in you perhaps loosening the tie, or in an extreme case, letting go altogether. You know you have done your part, and regret nothing, and can have a clean conscience. He needs to acknowledge you as a great friend, with love and respect that will not be used or taken advantage of. You are too precious, with a heart of gold. He will miss that one day, if he continues on this path. Much Love and many hugs to you!

    {{{{{~~~***PD***~~~}}}}:wub:

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    thank you PD
    *huggles*
    I love you :]
    thank you for taking your time and helping me, I'll never forget it...
    but yeah.
    i'm still learning....that's life isn't it?
  4. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    :huggles: to you to Ms. Mango...ditto what Ms. Kim said...you are much too wonderful and creative and sensitive (all the makings of the greatest kind of friend) to be short-changed in your relationships...although there will always be those we give to more than we receive...but we do it in and with love, by choice. I know you had this in a bulletin, but did you show it to him privately first? I wonder if it would have achieved the same effect, or was it the shame that made him apologize? I am glad to hear that you did forgive him, however, because it keeps your tender heart free and clear, and in the right place. I also hope that you are in a better place about this, though I know it takes time and a delicate balance of restraint and yearning.

    :huggles:

    Nomad Momma

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    oh no, i sent it to him before.
    just that.
    i don't think he exactly read the whole thing.
    and took it for as it was.
    so *shrugs*

    ¤Me¤ New Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Message Count:
    339
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Maybe you should ask him if he read the whole thing or not. There could always be a misunderstanding..And all the people who answered before i did took all the words from my mouth, so i dont have anything else to add :p


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | May 4, 2007
    #10

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thanks Me...
    i'll try it..maybe.
    grrr.
    i don't know how i can be open anymore.

    Jeez Banned

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2006
    Message Count:
    592
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Pals... yes we all
    need them...

    isn't that why we all
    come here??

    To learn from
    thoes we trust.

    :thanx2:
    for the read.


    Posted By Jeez | May 7, 2007
    #12

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    thanks Jeez...
    *huggles*
    Thanks for everything :]

    KayaOtah happy as ever

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2007
    Message Count:
    335
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Bedok Reservoir
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Friends...

    remembers what we were and sees what we can be...
    walks in when the rest of the world walks out...
    someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else...
    come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts...
    Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods...
    are the angels who lift us to our feet,
    when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...

    Remember...

    sometimes.. A brother is not always a friend,
    but a friend is always a brother...
    and i have to agree with Ms Mango...
    To the world, a friend may be one person,
    but to one person, he/she may be the world...

    - adapted from a website I forgot somewhere last year


    Posted By KayaOtah | May 7, 2007
    #14

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thanks KayaOtah!
    that's deep...
    a brother is not always a friend, but a friend is always a brother.
    thanks mucho.

    *huggles*

    KayaOtah happy as ever

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2007
    Message Count:
    335
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Bedok Reservoir
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    You're welcome...
    *smiles*
    I still remember your trademark...


    Posted By KayaOtah | May 8, 2007
    #16

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page