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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    Don't Cry



    For something that you haven't lost true their form is gone the thing
    that you thought would bring them closer to you. Heed not the thing
    that bound us to this world let us walk freely in to the stars and have
    what come with out heart ache. Don't shed tears for someone if you
    love them laugh they wouldn't want you to cry yet they would want
    you to live your life till the very end knowing they left someone they
    could be proud of and leave knowing they made the right choice. I
    say why do you cry is there a reason, If it death then you have no
    reason to cry no one die just go to rest for the time being never
    think of them as gone because there no pulse or blood that flow in
    them doesn’t make them gone that just there earthly shape. We
    being humans are spirit at first we never leave no not ever. You can
    never shed tears only because you can't hold them or talk to them.
    Who want to see someone crying when they standing right next to
    them. So don't shed a tear that not what I want I want to see you
    smiling like you did when you was a child seeing my walk through
    the door. Let me hold you one more time won't work not to day
    but on the coming morrow when I see your beautiful face and
    that what I see shall be what sets me free, So listen don't shed
    a tear don't cry until you cry I can't watch and I hold you tight,
    don’t cry as long as I’m next to you.


    Posted By Wind | Feb 11, 2012
    #1

    jakeminick McGonagall's Ghost

    Member Since:
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    nice honest expression. you might want to work on the structure and grammar of it though, if you want to hold the attention of the reader. i know it's freestyle, but in my opinion you still need some kind of structure for the timing to keep the reader's attention. and you definitely have need correct grammar and punctuation. just my opinion, but i think you could make this really good if you work on it. best intentions to you.


    Posted By jakeminick | Feb 11, 2012
    #2
  2. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

    Member Since:
    Feb 8, 2012
    Message Count:
    188
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dallas
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +22 / 0 / -5
    thank you very much


    Posted By Wind | Mar 8, 2012
    #3

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