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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    santui New Member

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    you know when you look at a man
    with your heart instead of your eyes
    its so easy to feel and never listen to his lies.
    and when hes hurt you so bad
    you cant afford to see yourself cry
    so you hide from the mirrors
    and convince yourself its not true-
    that he's broken your heart, your soul,your you.
    and when you're lying there in bed and hes beside you
    but hes a thousand miles away
    and you're black and blue.
    and you're watching a movie inside your head
    where the womans the victim
    'cause she's lying dead
    and her mans the killer standing over you
    his trophy is your heart, your soul, your broken neck too.

    you know, when you realize the dark you live in
    isn't a contineous night.
    your honour, i did what i did to get into the light,
    you call it murder, i call it my right


    Posted By santui | Nov 12, 2006
    #1

    Zeblon New Member

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    I like the rawness of the words..It's very in your face and bravely revealing..It's a good piece that could benefit from some cosmetic improvements..Like capitals and punctuation..


    Posted By Zeblon | Nov 14, 2006
    #2
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Santui,

    :wow: I am so sorry it took me this long to comment, and I am so glad to have found this, to bring it back. This was so powerful, poignant, heart-shattering, and is a life some woman live. It's raw, in your face, wise-up, get help, take no more, someone loves you, go ahead and scream, let the river of tears run, I extend my heart and arms to you, and etc. type of poem. An anthem to woman experiencing this. Perhaps just one powerful set of words will help someone going through this that feels there is no way out. I am almost in tears Santui. Thank you for this eye opening and relevant read.

    Kimberly

    Insightful_Kitten~ New Member

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    Girl, you hit that right on the head...i don't know how many times i've been in that situation..it's like being ignorant of the pain is better off than moving on in your life.

    louisianagal529 New Member

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    wow. i agree with zeblon. love the rawness.
  2. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hiya Santui... I personally like that it is not capitalized .... you are quietly stating your strength and the adversity you overcame.......You are not yelling or demanding attention ... I like this the way you have formatted it. It shows a quiet strength. Wonderful write and I really like it!

    ~Mysty~


    Posted By Mysty | Jul 19, 2007
    #6

    santui New Member

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    I really appreciate your comments thank you..this poem is one of my teardrops ...when i just have to rush the words to paper, because it hurts to keep it inside ..a poem that begins with seeing someone who is unable to speak ...unable to run so i give them voice and wings ...or at least i try to... with words. Hoping that if they read it they would see what i would do in their shoes...or at least try to do

    Thank you for reading my tears....:secret: :secret:


    Posted By santui | Jul 19, 2007
    #7

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