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    michael JPiC Contributor

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    Revision

    Inspired By ... For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enugh
    (Ntozake Shange}




    It was kinda like free-style-in
    and of course that Road Island Navy Base we were on
    I remember daddy being Gone
    So from then on
    It was my four sister's a baby brother and
    mother who said she was H.N.I.C. sorta jokingly

    And her saying "Michael you have to be the man of the family"
    Okay... "But don't think you no dam man"

    I really just wanted sugar and cookies
    like" Sam I Am" we stopped eating ham
    and I was so not ready to be a man
    and please can I just fly a kite
    or maybe ride my bike

    And her also saying that " A muslim becomes a man a thirteen "
    I remember not wanting to be seen
    with the asthma, eczema, allergies and other sensitivity
    and he got a rash

    For brown brother's who thought about whatever
    and a least had their mother
    although their dad was Gone
    You Scrong

    Self made with hearts that don't pump
    dat real sweet cool-laid even in shade or summer months
    when mommies anger was white hot

    "You look just like your father"
    whom she did not care to be bothered with

    Self made with hearts that don't pump
    dat real sweet cool-laid even in shade or summer months
    fast forward to twenty three and daddy being Gone
    from me
    instantaneously, irrationally, disconcertingly, completely
    five bullets to his chest cavity
    imagine the gravity

    and you need to stop being so sensitive
    {which to me meant stop being a little bitch or little baby
    maybe the way it was said}
    and stop all dat cryin
    and oh the issues...maybe some one here has tissue

    For brown brother's who had their mother and can even
    transcend color when their rainbow's and dad is Gone
    You Strong

    self made men who are their own best friend
    and also had their mom

    we include all other's who had their mother
    and can even transcend color
    and some times thought about ... whatever
    when all the rainbow's and their dad was Gone







    Posted By michael | Nov 30, 2015
    #1

  1. Magical

    Forestdawn Member

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    michael:
    Some very strong verses. Having to grow up too fast 'cause the father left. No more childhood, much more responsibilities. I can relate to this one. My two sisters and I lost our mom to a divorce when I was twelve. What a in depth poem. I enjoyed it. Thanks


    Posted By Forestdawn | Dec 9, 2015
    #2
  2. Magical

    Forestdawn Member

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    After looking over this poem in the Critique Saloon I should have critiqued it. However personally I found it very good. Thanks for posting.


    Posted By Forestdawn | Dec 9, 2015
    #3

    michael JPiC Contributor

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    Forestdawn

    Thank you so much for just taking time out to read this. Comment on it.
    I would like if you could critique this anytime. As it will only help my writing.
    I have to go to work.......I wish my job was to write poetry
    again thank you so much......talk to you soon


    Posted By michael | Dec 10, 2015
    #4

    michael JPiC Contributor

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    Forestdawn

    I wanted to say I am very sorry to hear about your mom.
    Losing her to divorce. It make's me think of some one dying when I hear
    people say I lost this person or I lost someone that I love.
    My parents separated. I was maybe six seven maybe. And not on good terms.
    Not we can still be friends. I still love you
    I would like to talk to you more about some of the Ideas I had here.


    Posted By michael | Dec 16, 2015
    #5

    michael JPiC Contributor

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    Forestdawn

    Hello again

    When you said that you thought that this poem has depth it gave me a really good feeling.That I can create. That I can use this as a creative outlet. And I just wanted to thank you again. And maybe share some of the ideas I had when writing this with you. And first off would be the book For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. I wanted to create a title for my poem sorta like this one. For Brown Brothers like my self and all people who have grown up in a single parent home. And what it meant for me in particular to not have my dad around. Who had a mental Illness and was involved in a police shooting when I was about twenty three. Just when we were getting to know one another. He was Gone for good. My mom who was under a great deal of stress. And was mostly angry and very unhappy. Unhappy about having to raise six kids by herself. After her marriage to my dad did not work out. Her unhappiness about a lot of other things. Even with me at times. I thought for looking so much like my father. And for being so dam sensitive. Which I had no idea at that time to be sensitive is great strength. My mother decided to change religions. Or convert from christianity to Islam. To break with all of the traditions. Probably from generations of my family. And what that would mean for us. A great divide in some ways. But in spite of everything Mommie got me here... she was the one who helped me get to where I am now going into 2016. She was the one who kept telling me over and over that I have to be responsible. Which I am still working on. The total responsibility for myself. With no excuses. Also how some people can transcend or get past the color of your skin. And that we are stronger than we think sometimes.


    Posted By michael | Dec 26, 2015
    #6

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