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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Handful of Stars
    ~
    I
    held
    a hand-
    full of stars,
    a palm of live wires,
    glowing red like an x-ray
    tiny fragments of light building energy
    nudging, crevasses between fingers. Particles free
    and
    race
    into
    the night sky
    shooting in reverse
    to original position
    taking wishes of the night from lovers' lips,
    erased like a chalkboard ready to start a new day.

    Fibonacci poem - doubled
    Jolie H
    December - 2007


    Posted By JolieH | Jan 8, 2008
    #1

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    In reference to the above poem, I was thinking about the concept of doubling here. It doesn't work in real life, the spiral cannot continue like this, but I did use, "and" to continue. It wasn't intentional, but it helped in this case. This concept is new in poetry. I find it interesting. I think if it were formalized. This wouldn't be proper. Because the second spiral isn't complete - not really.

    To illustrate:

    If two sea shells were stacked on top of the other, the edge would be broke on the second shell.

    I don't know - maybe I'm just thinking too much.


    Posted By JolieH | Jan 8, 2008
    #2

    Kit Carson JPiC Contributor

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    It still works for me...but then I am not usually overly analytical nor mathmatical in my approach to reading poetry...sometimes I think as writers we look at things differently than we do as readers. It is very pleasing. Perhaps a space in between? The ending comma works to clue the reader in that it continues. One at a time for me.


    Posted By Kit Carson | Jan 8, 2008
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    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    This is just an image... interesting how it's constructed. I decided to write about the stars. They are lovely and shining up there on a warm California night. Every poet writes something about stars, so I just imagined (pictured in my thought) what it would be like if I could collect them in my hand and hold them, but in the process, the stars wanted free and they escaped. I could see them racing home, and I thought about all the wishes people must have made as they were falling, but well, that stuff never worked for me anyway.
    But it was possible within my imagination to see this image occur, so there is some truth to it. It's almost like a state of quantum reality - because going in reverse with mathematics is possible and there are such things as imaginary numbers and imaginary numbers are used in quantum physics. Awhile back, I was thinking about “Alice in Wonderland” and quantum reality, and I found other related studies. Kimberley knows that stuff, she says its candy.

    One more thing, If I imagine just one star, it lifts me off the ground, and I can fly with it.
    I'm wierd, a nerd actually. My daughter Victoria wants me to become a Nerd Fighter, so I agreed.

    Check it out - Nerdfighters must watch the video


    Posted By JolieH | Jan 8, 2008
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    reasonrhymer New Member

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    Jolie,

    I like your poem and the new style you developed.

    Now as long as "you" are flying with the stars and without the gravity of the earth (a high flying nerd star rider) And If the two sea shells were stacked on top of the other, the edge would "NOT: break cuz there would be now weight one upon the other, and that doesn't take quantum realities to figure out, just some good old physics.

    So you can stack those shells anyway you like.

    Have fun flying up there in the stars, I do that too, perhaps we meet on one someday.



    Reasonrhymer

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    lol,
    Thanks George, I guess your right now that you mention it.
    I'll be sure to ask for you next time I'm up there.


    Posted By JolieH | Jan 10, 2008
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    :wow: JOLIE - I think this poem is quite magnificent actually - You introduced the Fibonacci Poetic style the other day and it's quite stunning to see it doubled - It actually seems to have taken on the shape of a rocket launcher of sorts. Like your shooting stars or some such (the shape anyway)

    Then the content is simply on point. Interesting subject matter and approached with a fresh originality. I say 5 Stars!

    Thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 11, 2008
    #7

    Bitter Irony New Member

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    Amazing imagery! It was an interesting idea to double the fib. sequence. I especially enjoyed the first half of the poem; your description was very original.

    ~Bitter Irony

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