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Discussion in 'Emotional Romantic' started by santui, Oct 21, 2006.



    santui New Member

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    he kissed me.

    and time stood still.
    the world tilted and i fell
    in love.
    by myself.
    while he walked on-
    lived on.
    i cant cry
    for what wasn't mine
    he never was
    he never will be.

    so i smile
    whenever he passes me by
    i'll never tell tell him

    not me, not i
    he will never know
    that my heart has stood still
    ever since
    he kissed me.


    Posted By santui | Oct 21, 2006
    #1

    MetricalSonneteer In mind to beat Petrarch!

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    Very reminiscent of Dido's song "White Flag". I know what you mean, how hard it is to face someone and remember all the things that were there in the past; sometimes wondering, do they still remember? Do they ever think in a retrospective way "ah, that was a nice time! It was fun back then"? Wondering whether they regret it all, or whether they are happy for what there was...

    While I like the flow on from line to line in lowercase, I think you missed an apostrophe or two.

    Cheers, and keep it up!
    Jonathan

    santui New Member

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    actually hon ...i miss more than a few apostrophes...i miss him :blush:


    Posted By santui | Oct 25, 2006
    #3
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Such a simple truth you tell with your poem SANTUI. I can soooo relate to this... Sometimes I feel as if I can wake up from this horrid dream called life and be in the arms of my Soulmate... The one who kissed me and meant it.

    Nice poem - Thanx for sharing!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 31, 2006
    #4

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