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  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Built in a factory,
    sacrifised for dirt,
    from the long line of machinery,
    for the while they thought I was worth.

    Metallic eyes, and a secret kind of smile,
    saving you in the war would be worthwhile,
    Hand out of golden colour,
    And my mind being saved in a computer file.

    Now what am I?
    When my system has been upgraded,
    Face replaced with a crime,
    And my arms being unprotected,
    And my brains still worth some time.

    For my skin has the colour of the sky,
    In my dna a genetic mistaken piece,
    And with oil as tears i have to cry,
    Heart made of a machine,
    And the short lifetime of a butterfly.


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Feb 10, 2007
    #1

    lanaia74 New Member

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    VERY well done! Totally enjoyed!:cheers: :bravo: :dwarf: o_O


    Posted By lanaia74 | Feb 13, 2007
    #2

    Benny New Member

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    This is a cool work, mex! I like this one a lot...made me think....I feel like a machine myself at times...always working...always...thanks for the post!


    Posted By Benny | Feb 15, 2007
    #3

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    You are welcome. And thank you for the kind words :p I am glad you like it :D


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Feb 16, 2007
    #4
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Mex,

    :wow: Very beautiful intricately woven words here. Loved the concept, as it has a ting of bittersweet. You captured my attention from beginning to end. You are quite the poet, and continue to spread your poetic wings. ;)

    {{{{~~~***PAINTED***~~~}}}}

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Thank you PaintedDiary :D


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Feb 16, 2007
    #6

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

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    again...

    wooooowww.



    this poem.....wow.
    hit the heart..

    and was scary too..
    so much insight...

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Scary huh? :p Thanks for the comment :D


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Feb 21, 2007
    #8

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

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    Always!

    Which poem that you've posted is your favorite?
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    ME! Wow, this was different...in a fantastic way! I've never read a piece like this...written about a computer, or a combination of things? I think we can closely identify with being farmed out for newer younger parts, etc. :)

    Awesome read! Thanks for posting this one.

    Nomad

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    nomadicrhymer, thank you for you words ;) And well, it was inspired out of many combinations of things, and i guess its a bit confusing to myself too. I feel like that sometimes, like when you are being taught or at school they tell you to do this and do that like you were some robot with a remote, or they see you as if you wee an alien because of the way you are.

    mangodroplet, I don't actually have a favourite, what do you think? :p


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Feb 24, 2007
    #11

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