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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    for Tanax I knew what it was like, and I hope you don't let that girl tear you apart, as a friend,

    heartbreak must be braved to make men more true,
    love is a cage unless you find the one who's meant to be with you,

    You can put the blame on yourself,
    but the fact is some people just won't appreciate,
    all that is you,
    You could be king of a mountain,
    an angel on a fountain,
    but to her you're just eternally a fool,

    I've listened to this love abyss and,
    I belive its best for you to let your heart fly,
    and not stand on one woman,
    ever since your love arrived it was hard to tell whether it was love or madness,

    As you brave your heartbreak,
    what's at stake has been magnified,
    why not have a beer or talk with friends,
    I hope the conclusion you come to is she really wasn't worth your time.
    :ok:

    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Sounds like very good, sound advice, Erik! Why not have a beer AND talk with friends? Also "women" should be "woman" since you use the number one. Other than those minor technicalities, I think this is a very clear and well written poem. Your empathy comes through and I love your word choices!

    -Tree.


    Posted By Altree94 | Nov 1, 2006
    #2

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    tree yeah at first I wondered whether it should be apoem since its really just adeptly worded advice but then I said what th ehck it might as well be, its as good as most of my poems, hopefully tanax will head this as i don't give advice often

    Benny New Member

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    Poetry IS aptly worded presentation of ideas and ideals...you did it great.


    Posted By Benny | Nov 2, 2006
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks Benny, I guess I was just being a poet then in this one

    NeyNey What If...

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    It's hard, watching someone go down that road. I thought you expressed your feelings very clearly. Good work.


    Posted By NeyNey | Nov 2, 2006
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks janene I only give advie when I really care, I neevr consider myself wise or anything since I'm not but when someone needs to hear something,
    I usually get my message across, thanks for responding janine

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