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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    Heartbroken by Her Beauty
    ~
    I shouldn’t have let her capture me with her heart
    Caressing me so gentle
    Kissing me so softly
    Now I can't comprehend reality
    ~
    She took my body
    Opened it up
    Seized my soul then planted
    It into the love inside her
    I wouldn’t lie, It felt phenomenal,
    ~
    It should be a sin to squeeze her delicate hand
    To listen to her sweet voice as it echoes in my mind
    I shouldn’t have let her embrace me
    Now slumber evades me
    ~
    My mind
    My body
    My soul
    Fragile like a child
    With her passion infused inside me
    ~
    As sweet as honey
    I shouldn’t have let her gaze into my eyes
    Seeing deep into the core of my soul
    I shouldn’t have let her love me
    Now heartbroken by her beauty


    Posted By Bear | Dec 27, 2007
    #1

  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    WOW Bear.... this is ..... truly a GREAT one..... this could very well become one of the classics for generations to come. Truly beautiful. The only thing I might suggest in this stanza

    I would do this line (I shouldn’t have let gazed into my eyes) as this "I shouldn’t have let her gaze into my eyes"

    This is a poem that could make a woman fall in love.


    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Dec 27, 2007
    #2

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    Thank you for your great comment and yes you are so right when I wrote this it was there in my mind lol sometimes my mind thinks faster then my fingers type lol
    hugs kisses
    tom


    Posted By Bear | Dec 27, 2007
    #3
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Bear,

    :wow::wow: You did it again my friend. This was phenomenal Thom and the structure of the layering added to the depth of this lil piece of paradise. This is the kind of poem one cannot read just once..it totally captures me. Loved it!! Bravo...:bravothanx:

    Painted :)

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    Painted Thank you so much for your magnificent comment it is truly how Ive felt so it came right from my heart
    hugs kisses
    tom


    Posted By Bear | Dec 29, 2007
    #5

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