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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    As you sit protected,
    I know one thing you've invested in,
    knowledge of pain,
    whether living without or living within,
    the change can't erase the sickness of your will,

    darkness floats a counted crows crest,
    you're embracing sorrows' depths,
    that stain the life into becoming the lifeless,

    hello disaster, you should've took me faster,
    the bigger I grow the harder to kill,
    hey disaster you've had your fill,

    there again your coming on,
    rendering, the sun from a hollow stone,
    to run,

    Its not enough to release this pain, then build
    it right up again,

    You're taken I know,
    but what if you want something more

    hello disaster, you should've took me faster,
    the bigger I grow the harder to kill,
    hey disaster you've had your fill.

    :nutkick: :spamlaser: :harp:

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Erik,

    This was a different feel from you in my opinion; alittle dark with a hint of mystery. It almost seems that the struggle with disaster was welcome. Perhaps, to overcome. I love the repetitious stanza, and it works well with the poem. I would love to know your inspiration for this piece. Ya know Erik, there are so many Eriks, if you will, so many sides & angles to you. With each piece you express each one beautifully. You are somethin' else. Your range is phenomenal, and again, when I get to your level, I will be happy. Nice write.

    ~*Painted*~ ;) :kicking::ninja2:

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    ya as far as my inspiration for this one, I think I was just thjinking what I would say to someone who wanted me to fall or fail,

    thanks kim as far as my level I have to reassure you your own level could become much greater than mine
  2. Malnourished

    Ariono-jovan Labu Member

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    interesante

    although this had a somber tone, as the calling on the reaper yeah. a passage/ line to stain my mind, "darkness floats a counted crows crest..."
    this was visual artist. keep that ink spilling by the puddles. one

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks allot ariono thats my fav part too usually i don't strive for parts like that their hard to come by but really the poem was built around that line kind of, I'll keep it flowing anytime I can great review ariono

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