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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    I wrote this poem about a year ago and had it placed in the "critique" section of another Forum... Anyway - I think to share and get commentary on this piece - I'm putting it in the Miscellaneous section - but comments and critique welcome.

    Jacquii.

    ------------------------------------------------
    ------------------------------------------------

    I Am Not Tragically Coloured
    (about zora)

    1.
    So the Moon shined in April, a half quarter gleam
    at your backside Zora. He was as dust tracks on your road,
    caressing you with His natural endowment
    for falsetto grace-hope.

    You knew that Ol’ Man Moon - He kept you lit
    when you were scoring the most beautiful Neale-
    Hurston masterpieces.
    Well that Ol’ Man Moon steady hides behind, beyond thee
    like an unseen strata of cumulous clouds.
    He’s demure with songs of lust, his wind still yearning
    your silver-linings and your unkempt starry nights.

    Like tornadoes piquing in the eye of ecstasy:
    He wants you, your barefaced façade like an eclipse
    of God... You wrote to him, “Tell my horse."

    2.
    I laughed that frosted May. Giggled raucously.
    The Moon was full with springtime surprise, but no stars
    in the garden that night? Where lay those subtle orbs of fire?,
    their blatant sighs in an atmosphere filled with mocking.

    Must've slyly spied swiss upon my mahogany visage,
    an unwinked eye? Hooded?

    I smiled with you Zora; I kneeled beside the subtle of your
    blasphemy... I smiled poetry.
    I winked it actually, my left eye lazy
    and my right shining in jest - I steady smile
    the prose of questing for an entire humanity
    no longer mired in the muck of Jim Crow, no longer
    as the mule of young virile men.

    From terror to triumph I smile (for we are all vital)
    And you shine Zora. You shine on.

    3.
    Butterflies and orchids. Half-rainbows, stars at noon.
    Wine and green blades - Daffodils of yellow make you swoon.

    And the chil'ren in sand boxes: Naïveté amazed.
    Overalls specked – Slides and swings rathering spirits gay.

    Shall you comfort on benches like chaise lounge rooms?
    And fall in gardens: Honeysuckle, Azalia, Hyacinth blooms?
    Special aroma awaits you. (In the gourd vine of redemption.)

    4.
    Kittens claw seraph wings and dogs paw like loyalty.
    Eyes of golden green, a hazel teeming with malice.
    Defense blows in the wind as claws grasp.

    A face in moonlit shadow. A voice beckoning
    as rain drizzles in the pallor of an invisible orb.
    Stars ablaze; clouds rampantly gray: a great man dead...

    (dust tracks blown in the wind of perseverance;
    in the midst: reparation)

    5.
    ...and her eyes, they laugh, they’re on the silver-lined,
    for she could never hold a grudge; grudges rot hearts.
    Plus she's naïve-smart, loving child at thirty-one.
    Her eyes be watching God; They're hungry
    and she's queer.



    Copyright © 2006 Jacquii Cooke


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 29, 2007
    #1

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    very stylish msJ I loved it,
    it was a fine example of poetry,
    I couldn't crituque this since it was exquisite
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Thanx very much ERIK - I'm glad you like this poem.
    It is quite special to me, as I'm a HUGE Zora Neale Hurston fan. Love her stuff ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 2, 2007
    #3
  3. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    [FONT=&quot]First of all, whenever I read your poetry, I get inspired to write…such is your wizardry with words…takes my mind deeply delving into a formerly unknown abyss of impossibilities – This is a grandly schemed piece about Zora – a woman who I now have to go and research if she’s inspired this amazing write…[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]The first line of the first five verses are my very favorite lines – Ms. J. your first lines are like a work unto themselves – check it out:[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]So the Moon shined in April, a half quarter gleam[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]You knew that Ol’ Man Moon - He kept you lit
    Like tornadoes piquing in the eye of ecstasy:[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]I laughed that frosted May. Giggled raucously. (WICKED!!)[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Must've slyly spied swiss upon my mahogany visage[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I smiled with you Zora; I kneeled beside the subtle of your[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]From terror to triumph I smile (for we are all vital)[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Butterflies and orchids. Half-rainbows, stars at [/FONT][FONT=&quot]noon[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]And the chil'ren in sand boxes: Naïveté amazed[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Shall you comfort on benches like chaise lounge rooms?[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Kittens claw seraph wings and dogs paw like loyalty[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]A face in moonlit shadow. A voice beckoning[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]...and her eyes, they laugh, they’re on the silver-lined,[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]get the picture?[/FONT]

    THANKS for sharing!


    Nomad
    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]
  4. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Ms Jacquii :bravothanx:,

    Ahhhhh, I remember well...the other forum...yes, if I think it is what you mean. This was the epitome of word-play-illiance!!!! The intricate woven memoir of Nora. I could not even quote, as I would have quoted the entire piece. You have masterfully unveiled a collaborative diary of sorts depicting the contrast and comparison of Hurston and yourself. Ms. Hurston did our Harlem Renaissance proud. Rejection was NOT an emotion she accepted, nor was it a deterrent. I loved the incorporation of her quote in your title, and the metaphor of the Mule (a work with Langston), and that last line sent me to your oh so unique one-of-a-kind Ms Jacquii abyss---->Her eyes be watching God; They're hungry and she's queer. One of her most famous works, and funny how "they" thought she was gay, though she wrote of the exquisiteness of heterosexual relationships, she kept them guessing. All the while, she laughed, and continued to write. I cannot even begin to put together the proper words to do this piece justice. I will be at your book signing, for your work, as my brother says, "shuts the place down"! AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL, A ONE-OF-A-KIND Ms Jacquii, "how ya like me now", should be read out loud, write!! I rated this as Excellent! :bravothanx:

    {{{{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}}}};)2
  5. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    You cast a spell with ure twisted words ,
    oh! the games they play , exquisite !
    Touching , caressing , pulling back ,teasing ,
    ahh ! sweet agony for my mind ,
    sending me into multi coloured labrynths of intellectual pleasure ,
    oh ! sweet lovemaking for my mind .....

    a few lines dedicated to this poem .....Jon


    Posted By JONATHAN | May 3, 2007
    #6
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    :wow: Thanx JON!
    Actually considering entering an "edited" version of this in a poetry contest today...
    Glad you enjoy ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 12, 2007
    #7

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