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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)

    I am not afraid
    to straighten my spine
    shake that monkey
    break that chain
    royal blood leaves a Crimson stain
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    I am Painted Diary
    tall as a Cypress
    long as the Nile
    malleable as Cleopatra's Gold
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    Greatness walks with me
    mountains applaud my soliloquy
    I am Painted Diary and my
    heart speaks phonetically
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    Watchful eyes sharply pierce
    God's hand break me free
    from indiginous ashes I burn
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    FaShaBaby Rhapsodist Pinay

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    Whoa! That was hot.

    I love the flow and rhtyhm. The confidence was oozing out, it was contagious. I feel good about MYSELF after reading that.

    "I am not afraid
    to straighten my spine
    shake that monkey
    break that chain
    royal blood leaves a Crimson stain
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix"

    That first stanza was excellent. It set the tone right away.

    Very nice!


    Posted By FaShaBaby | Jul 11, 2006
    #2
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    ::SIZZLE::

    Hey KIM - That is prolly the most AWESOME piece I've had the pleasure to read of yours... That was really some piece of writing - I tell ya what! This write speaks to me of empowerment. This write speaks to me of a perseverance so strong that it's really almost a miracle of sorts. This write speaks to me of overcoming such turmoil, as to rise to be the BigBalla on the block of all blocks.

    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    Greatness walks with me
    mountains applaud my soliloquy


    Yeah - I heard that! Tell 'em loud - Tell 'em proud! And don't look back as they gawk at you!

    Thanx for sharing this brilliant piece! ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jul 12, 2006
    #3

    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I enjoy poems like this the most because they are abstract and allows the reader to create their own meaning and image of waht this poem is saying...I quoted that part specifically because it sums up and also ends the poem very well, Hopefully I'll see more from you soon


    Posted By KingAce | Jul 14, 2006
    #4
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thank you so much Ms Jacquii, Ms FaSha, KingAce first for taking time to read, then commenting. I felt very good about this piece when scribing. Your comments are heartfelt, and well needed. I thought, I was going through a dry spell, until I read these comments. Thanks for the uplift.

    Much Luv'...~*Painted Diary*~:blush:

    michael JPiC Contributor

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    Hello Painted

    I thought that this came across as such a strong piece. Very uplifting. Your poetic flow is amazing. Also it reminds me of fear or fear's which would hinder one from straightening their on spine.

    keep up your flow
    p.s. you must write about ten poems aday....and you know you all dat


    Posted By michael | Jul 15, 2006
    #6

    TrueBlue New Member

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    I like the sense of strength and confidence in this one.


    Posted By TrueBlue | Jul 16, 2006
    #7

    thelioness New Member

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    I like this because of the confidence. You're not afraid to toot your own horn. You go girl!


    Posted By thelioness | Jul 20, 2006
    #8

    TrueBlue New Member

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    Mother Theresa once said that the poverty in the homeless of America was worse than the physical poverty in the third world countries in many ways. Poems can help with this because they can inspire and they can help teach or reinforce the idea that humanity is important and special and divine. you did that in your poem, comparing yourself, confidently, with the wealth of nature around you. so this was a powerful poem. did it have a lot of personal meaning for you? also i like your line about god's hand breaking you free? too often god makes people afraid instead of religiously joyous. fear of punishment is big. and big cities don't always support feelings of holiness, i think. i don't know if i am wrong in saying that. anyway i liked your poem. -p.s. i also liked how you kept an inter-relation between yourself and nature. it seems like you are not seperate. should be that way.


    Posted By TrueBlue | Jul 24, 2006
    #9

    mcglinnen New Member

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    “I am not afraid”

    What a strong beginning to a poem! From there you assault us with the strength of your words, your convictions.

    “God's hand break me free
    from indigenous ashes I burn “

    The imagery works wonderfully. Yes, I fine poem I would humbly say.

    David


    Posted By mcglinnen | Aug 9, 2006
    #10
  4. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thank you michael, True, Ms Lioness, and mcglinnen for taking time to read and comment. This was a strong piece for me, and quite fun to read when I was finished composing. One of my favorites. I greatly appreciate you giving your precious time and thoughts. Thank you again.

    Painted Diary aka Kimberly:wink2:
  5. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    :yeahbaby::goodjob:

    I read this a while back, and read it again...and I shall read it again! You ARE Painted Diary! The essence...the nucleus...the core...of the Risen Phoenix! You stood up and made a stand here...a very believable one!


    tall as a Cypress
    long as the Nile

    You paint a picture of forever - as long as earth is...you are!

    Fantastic!
    Nomad
  6. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I agree

    You are Painted Dairy and the phoenix. I agree! Like a warrior you stand tall and proudly proclaim who you are. I stand in your shadow looking up at you in awe.
    The first stanza is what sets up the rest of the poem and you started it strong. Great poem, PD.
    Gail


    I am not afraid
    to straighten my spine
    shake that monkey
    break that chain
    royal blood leaves a Crimson stain
    and still I shall rise like a Phoenix

    Benny New Member

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    Dang! You am who you am, PD! I love who you are...and I believe every dang word you've written here about you...yeppers...I surely do!


    Posted By Benny | Mar 4, 2007
    #14

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