Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    346
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Yucca Valley, California
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Not a wisp nor tell tale hint of scent,
    Her fragrance drifts upon my need.
    No! I can not want her wantonness.
    I pray to God...I can repent.

    For stolen kisses my wicked bent,
    Relieved the tension of my seed.
    Repossesses from my wilderness,
    Of careless lovers I have spent,

    Each fantasy for trite amusement.
    She never knows what I concede.
    An aficionado, I confess!
    As so I face my punishment...

    To never understand what she meant,
    For my poor heart to need and bleed,
    And descend into this awful mess,
    For words that I in no way sent.

    To fill up the empty space that's rent,
    With my bare soul which cannot feed,
    Upon these moments nor can digress,
    With a mistress or mall intent.

    There is no room for a compliment,
    Even if she should hear and heed.
    Her presence still causes my heart stress,
    I will fall down with discontent.

    And there you will find my heart's been spent
    Upon a Celtic poets creed,
    For all the world to see me confess,
    I cannot tell her sole intent.

    Not a wisp nor tell tale hint of scent,
    Her fragrance drifts upon my need.
    No! I can not want her wantonness.
    I pray to God...I can repent.


    This poem was written for the La'Tuin Poem contest. A La'Tuin poem should have 4 lines per stanza with an 'abca,abca' rhyme scheme that is consistent throughout each stanza. The first stanza is repeated again at the end of the piece. A strict syllable count of 9/8/98 is required per stanza.


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Sep 8, 2007
    #1

  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2006
    Message Count:
    925
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canadian Prairies
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +52 / 0 / -0
    Oh WOW Jer ...... this is exquisite... truly exquisite.. I love this type of poetry. You are truly a talented writer hon.

    I think .... oh my tender heart This I just LOVE!!

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Sep 8, 2007
    #2

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    346
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Yucca Valley, California
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Mysty,

    Thank you ever so much for this gracious and kind review...you're very talented as well.

    Jerry


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Sep 8, 2007
    #3
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Jer, this is truly lovely...and such a brilliant rhythmic scheme!! The words also have a sort of old world feel to them, especially the two stanzas below...loving it, Jer!! This is a keeper!!

    There is no room for a compliment,
    Even if she should hear and heed.
    Her presence still causes my heart stress,
    I will fall down with discontent.

    And there you will find my heart's been spent
    Upon a Celtic poets creed,
    For all the world to see me confess,
    I cannot tell her sole intent.


    :thumbsup: I can tell that a lot of work went into this one...and well worth it!

    Nomad

    Poetry Garden New Member

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia girl living in Georgia
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    A true masterpiece
    ...the tension of my seed ...lol cute! The male/ female I don't understand you expressed very well (not sure that was your intent *wink wink* Jer, but I love it)

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    346
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Yucca Valley, California
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Danette,

    Please expound on your response ...the tension of my seed ...lol cute! The male/ female I don't understand you expressed very well (not sure that was your intent *wink wink* Jer, but I love it)

    It will be interesting if you picked up on my intent

    Jerry


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Sep 9, 2007
    #6

    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    it bites having a strong libido and a conscience in the same body lolol. just kidding. your words kind of just meld together, like you don't realize you are moving from one word, one thought, to the next.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Sep 9, 2007
    #7

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page

GreetingsGalleryOnline.com