Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0

    Tonight I took out your picture
    that i keep hidden in my heart.
    And I felt the rushing river;
    it seems stronger somehow

    Sometimes I still feel you
    when the breeze hits just right;
    when i need the kind of solace
    you brought me in the night.
    But the only tears that have
    a reason now
    are for simply missing you

    I do remember well.
    Yes, I do remember well.

    Tonight I hung your picture
    and polished the memories;
    just like all the other jewels
    that decorate my life.

    Sometimes I still feel you
    when the light hits just right;
    when its a summers day
    before a blue-mooned night.
    And the only tears that have
    a reason now
    are for simply missing you.

    I do remember well.
    Yes, I do remember well.

    Sometimes I hear you calling
    in the middle of the night;
    in the midst of remembering
    when we made loveā€¦
    when we made love...

    I do remember well,
    Yes, I do remember well...

    and I miss you so.


    Posted By zaac | Nov 4, 2006
    #1

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,711
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +15 / 0 / -0
    i like the I do remember well part the sunny day analogy well those are common,
    but hell I do it too so can't fault you good poem
  1. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 20, 2006
    Message Count:
    679
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Location:
    In a trailer, on a hill.
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +37 / 0 / -0
    I think this is the best stanza of the whole poem and so descriptive! It caught my attention and hung on, lol.

    Tonight I hung your picture
    and polished the memories;
    just like all the other jewels
    that decorate my life.

    What I'm not sure is this a song or poem or both? You repeat several stanzas, word for word, like a song, but it reads more like a poem.
    Lost love is a great subject for a poem and you wrote it well.
    Good job,
    Gail


    Posted By butchiesmom | Nov 5, 2006
    #3
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,653
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Channeling Rainbow
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +20 / 0 / -0
    Dear Zaac,

    Ahhhhh...here it is....I found it.....this is an incredible storem (story + poem)!!!!! This should be published Zaac, as I read this over, and over. Each time reveals more of the feeling behind the story, and this placed me there. I want to hug him, and wrap up in a blanket, then paint this poem. This would make an awesome painting!!! Loved it!!!Gave an excellent rating!!! :bravothanx:

    {{{{{~~~***PD***~~~}}}}}:artist:

    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    hey yall

    i revised this a bit. tell me what you think.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 1, 2007
    #5

    Bear JPiC Contributor

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Message Count:
    824
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    This is a beautiful stanza Zaac
    Tonight I hung your picture
    and polished the memories;
    just like all the other jewels
    that decorate my life. and your poem is simply marvalous
    handshakes
    Bear


    Posted By Bear | Jun 1, 2007
    #6

    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    thank you bear...this is one of my favorites

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 2, 2007
    #7
  3. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Message Count:
    432
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kolkata India
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +76 / 1 / -0
    THE TRUTH IS UNIVERSAL NOT COMMON .. mayb i just havent read so much poetry but i find nothing common in these lines , mayb its the sence of deja vu that Eric misunderstood for bieng commonplace .... the sence of havin been there , done that .i identify with this piece zaac and yea theres those times wen just a every day common place thing reminds yu of her .. but thats becoz yu've shared not only the extra ordinary but the ordinary with her .


    yea Zaac so identify with these lines , sometimes we cry over small stuff and that makes us feel like weaklings but wen we cry for a love lost it feels so right ..thanx 4 sharing bro , its almost like ure saying ive been there too bro .JONATHAN


    Posted By JONATHAN | Jun 2, 2007
    #8

    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    thanx jonathan...that was cool

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 2, 2007
    #9

    Intricate soul intricate soul

    Member Since:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Message Count:
    89
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    ......
    Sometimes I still feel you
    when the light hits just right;
    when its a summers day
    before a blue-mooned night.
    And the only tears that have
    a reason now
    are for simply missing you...


    So many times these words are true, even for the simplest of things, but I like that glimpse into the dark region of one's heart to admit, "yeah I still do miss you still~ sometimes." Beautiful piece, I adore it!

    deep_poet86 Endless Rewind

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    186
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    The poem is perfect, story plus poem, and real feelings and memories. This was a really good read. Thanks for sharing.

    zaac Banned

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Message Count:
    583
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    thanks deep poet and everyone else. i like this one a lot. was thinking once at christmas time how it would be for an old man to have his first christmas after his wife's passing. What would that feel like and would what i think if i were him. and would you let the loss take you down or would you let it inspire you to do greater things than you imagined?

    food for thought...can't just say your a poet...its in your dna


    Posted By zaac | Jun 3, 2007
    #12

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Message Count:
    971
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    :wub:
    i love it.
    that's all i can say.
    period. :]

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page