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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


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    Tanax Member

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    I wish you could see
    To Susanna

    I see you almost every day,
    you walk by me, in the hallway,
    and I would all my money pay,
    to know what words to you say.

    I wonder every day where I will go from here,
    to let loose, to step up, and lose all my fear,
    to be your one, and tell you all the things you want to hear,
    to have your love, to feel your kiss and stand you near.

    I love you so terribly much,
    to feel your warm breath on my lips,
    to stand you near, and feel your touch,
    to kiss you, and caress your hips.

    This is a dream I have almost every night,
    I wonder how I will put through with this fight,
    to stand up with all my height,
    because I get so happy whenever I have you in my sight.

    Unfortunatly, this is very hard for me,
    and I only wish you could see,
    that I'm shy and don't dare talk to thee.

    I'm not the most perfect guy,
    as you already know I'm very shy,
    but I'm honest and don't lie,
    belive me when I say that you're the one in the life of my.

    Because I know that my feelings are true,
    I just hope that I will get through,
    because people like you are so few,
    and you should know, that I love you.


    -------------------


    Posted By Tanax | Aug 26, 2006
    #1

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    this poems not bad, real sentiment is always apprecaited you should show her this poem poetry has before benifited me, tehh first 4 lines and teh last 4 lines stand out the feel of this poem is good allot more original although it has parts that are very simple like a novice actually, overall I think what you feel shouldn't be judged so harshly, it should be apprecaited and shown
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Tanax,

    No doubt you LOVE this person, and it speaks volumes in each stanza. In all its simplicity, the message drove home, and much appreciated. This was a very sweet sentiment to your sweetie...Thank you for sharing.

    Painted

    Tanax Member

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    Thank you very much for your kind comments.
    She's my sweetie, but I'm not hers.. since I haven't talked to her.. =/

    Anyways, thank you :)


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 13, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----> It's better to have love and lost than to never even have dared love in the 1st place!
    ------------

    With that said... I like this piece very much TANAX. It's got a sweetness and naive-essense about it.

    I especially liked how all lines are quatrains except for the one tercet:
    Gosh - do I know these feelings so very well. Sometimes one just simply CAN'T be shy. Take my advice :)

    Thanx for sharing!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 27, 2006
    #5

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    :D You showed me this poem before, and as the others already said, YOU really LOVE this person. And as jacquii already said, and i know i've told you before, to go there and talk to her! Tell her how you feel!! ;)

    Your little sister, Lizzy ;)


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Oct 27, 2006
    #6

    Tanax Member

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    True. And I dared. And lost.
    I got her profile name on some teen site, it's like myspace, but much more developed for teens. So I sended her a guestbook message.
    She asked who I was, because my name there was Tanax.
    I told her my name, and she replied with "oh, you were the one who sent me that letter".

    To tell you about the letter, it was the poem "from the unknown" that I put in her locker a year ago, but I didn't get a reply so I thought maybe the the letter had fell underneath the locker.
    But apparently she knew all the time that it was me, but never replied.
    So my last message to her was "Yes, it was me.. How are you?"
    And she never replied to that, 3 days has passed.
    And yes, she's been online, so it's not that she hasn't seen it.
    But ohwell, it's quite nice anyways.

    When it comes down to it I really only had 2 options.
    1. Get together with her, and that way get rid of my pain.
    2. Lose her, forget her, and maybe even hate her, and that way get rid of the pain.

    In this case it turned out to be the 2nd option.
    I actually wrote a poem about it.
    I'll post it later :)


    Yes, I really loved her.
    But now after this, I'm letting her go.
    Actually, to be honest, I hate her so much now.
    She were so.. ignorant and cold to me on that site.
    She could at least have been polite, but NOOO..
    So.. fuck her.

    Thanks anyways :)


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 27, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hey TANAX - hate is self-defeating - Possibly there is someone else for you who is a better fit...

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 27, 2006
    #8

    Tanax Member

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    Yea, hopefully.. >.<
    But let's not turn this thread into ME, it is after all about the poem.. >.<


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 27, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    THE WHO? :roflmao:

    Benny New Member

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    eh, ok. The words are powerful and easily felt by anyone who has loved or longed to love. One can tell it pours from your heart. Love is tough, but worth everything.


    Posted By Benny | Oct 29, 2006
    #11

    Tanax Member

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    Thanks Benny.
    100% true.
    But it's still heartbreaking to lose a love..


    Posted By Tanax | Nov 1, 2006
    #12

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