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Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by Tanax, Oct 24, 2006.



    Tanax Member

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    Ignored

    Why is life always so hard to live,
    I'm trying so hard to be accepted, and I always give,
    but what do I get, denial and hate,
    is this my destiny, my true fate?
    Love is all that matters, and I am so full of it,
    yet, noone seem to care, it's like they don't give a shit.
    No girls love me, no matter what I do, it's just my life,
    and the best friend I've probably had, is most likely the knife.

    It never let me down, and it eases the pain,
    but after the use, things just aren't the same.
    Deep scars it left behind, not to go away,
    -you are insane, some may say.

    I'm not insane, I'm just unnoticed,
    I'm like the wind, or the soft cool morning mist.
    I'm almost invisible, a nobody, a broken soul,
    wandering upon earth, with no true goal.

    So I ask you once again, is this for real?
    Because noone knows, how I truly feel.

    All the time, I'm not true to myself, all the times I lied,
    so I wonder, should I end this with a suicide?


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 24, 2006
    #1

    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    Powerful! I hope this poem doesn't go "Ignored" - it's a great read! Well I may be a bit biased; I love reading this kind of work, especially when I can relate. I gotta hope this is all metaphorical, about the knife and such... But I know better than to assume, having not quite kicked the habit myself.

    This is a really great write, too! Your rhymes are right on, and your message is pretty strong! The emotions hit home, hard enough to knock the wind outta 'ya! Great emotions + written excellently = Wonderful poem! Looking forward to many more from you, Tanax :)

    Smiles!,
    ~Serenity~


    Posted By ~Serenity~ | Oct 24, 2006
    #2

    lanaia74 New Member

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    Brilliant! Superb! Beavo!


    Posted By lanaia74 | Oct 25, 2006
    #3

    Tanax Member

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    THank you! I do love reading works like this too, and nonetheless write them!
    It was not metaphorical, but w.e
    If a poem is true in every way, from the writers side, then it gets alot better, and more powerful.


    THank you once again! :D



    lan~ THank you! :D Glad you enjoyed it :)


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 25, 2006
    #4
  1. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    No better words have been said :)
    I just happened to hit the "Feeling Lucky" button and it brought up this poem. Kinda nice actually, considering the profile convo we had the other day - I'm glad things are looking up for you and that indeed you have not gone ignored!

    Poetic love to you friend ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 28, 2011
    #5
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    This really is a powerful piece, Tanax... and comes from the soul it feels like... this is a cry cried by many, many unfortunately since I feel a lot of humans have denied the need to reach out to each other for fear of getting hurt, and on the other hand are growing more callous by the day and immune to others' hurts. I feel we need to start with one person, smile, say hello, build a relationship with them, then keep adding to it... that way our lives grow more full and rewarding... giving, for me, is the key to being more fulfilled and happy.

    Great write!!

    Nomad :beach:

    SuzyQ Member

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    Hi Tanax,
    I think just being alive on this earth is hard, but certainly it's harder for some than others.

    I absolutely love this third stanza. Very moving. Very poetic. Very visual ... even though you're speaking of the invisible. Now that's not an easy task. :)

    SuzyQ


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 30, 2011
    #7
  3. Confused

    Wind WindXSaul

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    being noticed? isn't that what everyone wishes for and this explaines how everyone does


    Posted By Wind | Mar 8, 2012
    #8

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