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Discussion in 'Emotional Romantic' started by fo0k3r, May 24, 2007.



    fo0k3r New Member

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    clouds are angels up in the sky
    the rain is my tears as i start to cry
    the thunder is my heart beating away
    the lightening is the pain i feel each day
    to close your eyes to hear no sound
    to be told theres no heart beat found
    to sit and realise you have gone
    you wasnt here for very long
    just to have you for those short few weeks
    to know you was there was great
    to close my eyes and not feel you there
    makes my heart want to break
    with all the love i have in my heart its yours so keep it safe
    you will be loved and looked after in a special place
    close your eyes dont be scared you can go to sleep
    i promise to smile with you when i start to weep
    i know the wind whispering in the night
    is just your way of telling me your alright
    to be an angel sitting on clouds watching from up above
    your an angel in heaven now sending down your love


    Posted By fo0k3r | May 24, 2007
    #1

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    nice poem Lynz good concept pretty good rhyming

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

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    It's sad, but Nice. I like it. Nice rhymes too. wants to make me cry, but be happy too :]
    *huggles* good job.
  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hiya Lynz .... This is a lovely tribute to a departed loved one. In line 8 I would change the wasn't to a were not and again in line 10 change the "you was" to a you were, but that is just my humble opinion... which you can use or lose. Other than that this is simply, no other way to say....... gorgeous .... I truly love this poem.

    ~Mysty~


    Posted By Mysty | May 24, 2007
    #4
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Aw LINZ - this is such a touching poem. A very nice tribute for your friends peril - I enjoyed reading this one - And I'm sure you're friend appreciated having you as Poetic Friend beside her.

    thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 11, 2007
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    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Linz,

    you've captured your emotions very well and have also do a good job of helping the reader feel the same.

    My Fav:

    Jerry

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