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Discussion in 'Emotional Romantic' started by ~Serenity~, Apr 27, 2007.



    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    There's something about you I can't forget,
    I just haven't really met you yet;
    'Course, you know what I mean.

    It's not a thing I could explain,
    Some quality in you that's so arcane;
    Leading to thoughts so sweet and obscene.

    A growing attraction I can't understand,
    From the outside looks like it's out of hand;
    But from the inside so much more is seen.

    Feelings so strong to leave us speechless,
    Leave us in a state of euphoric distress;
    Such strange wonders at sweet sixteen!

    Opportunity arrives, a chance to confess,
    Slowly passion gives way to sweet caress;
    Slipping out of control, we careen.

    Nervously, gently, afraid to be swept away,
    Yet equally afraid of sinful delay;
    As every desire we lovingly glean.

    Into the heavens we ascend in elation,
    Entwined in more than earthly sensation;
    Existence and nirvana, so sweetly between.

    As we return to earth, you whisper my name,
    My heart skips a beat, fanning the lively flame;
    We lay together, feeling everything yet so serene.


    Posted By ~Serenity~ | Apr 27, 2007
    #1

    Jeez Banned

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    Serenity,

    This is quite the
    write...

    and ' know this
    feeling.

    You fed it to us
    with such a nice
    taste of memory.

    Then you slowly
    lead us into your
    moment of passion. ;)

    Nicely done...

    Thanks for the
    read.


    Posted By Jeez | Apr 27, 2007
    #2
  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    :wow: ahem!!....(clearing throat) what's in the air these days? aaahh, yes! Spring!! We're all getting caught up in Mating Season...haha! :girltender:

    Serenity this is a very "mature" write...I have to agree with Jeez...you certainly took us on a journey and slowly spun out the tale... and it was very controlled...quite the artist you are!! Loved it!! :blush:

    Nomad

    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    Ms Jeez and Ms Nomad --- Thanks so much!! :blush: Was fun to write - and it's fun to get such sweet replies from such sweet ladies! :cute:

    Smiles!,
    ~Serenity~


    Posted By ~Serenity~ | Apr 27, 2007
    #4
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    This is a really nice poem SEREN - The last line of the quoted stanza really has a wonderful alliteration effect - But the entire poem is really filled with emotion - The constant motif of "bliss" is what I see - ALSO just a really heartfelt write, epitomized especially in this line: My heart skips a beat, fanning the lively flame

    Enjoyed this write very much - Thanx for the sharing!

    Jacquii.

    ps - My favorite stanza:



    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 27, 2007
    #5

    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    Hehehehe thanks MsJ!! I hadn't actually realized the alliteration bit... Ohwellz! I like it =) Hehe so glad you like it, and thanks again for the lovely reply =)

    Smiles!,
    ~Serenity~


    Posted By ~Serenity~ | Apr 27, 2007
    #6
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Ms Serenity!,

    :wow::wow: This was absolutely a stunning write! Very well thought out, and true feeling just poured over the words like honey. Smooth and sweet. All of my senses were satisfied with this piece! Nice and slow the journey took me to the top of the mountain, and had me in a state of bliss. Only problem is the write was so beautiful, I don't want to come down off the mountain, hehehehehe. There were so many lines to quote, but this line stood out for me--->But from the inside so much more is seen.:wow: That line is a classic, and speaks so many volumes in just nine words!!!!!!!!I am in awe of your work here, and to see your evolution as a writer is amazing and a blessing. Thank you soooo much for sharing Serenity, and more, more, please! Love Ya!

    {{{{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}}}}:)

    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    Hehe Thanks so much Ms PD! So glad to hear you liked it =) Much Luv'!

    Smiles!,
    ~Serenity~


    Posted By ~Serenity~ | Apr 29, 2007
    #8

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