Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!

Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by Terence, Jan 5, 2008.



    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0

    I walked amongst the ghosts of past events
    with conscience wracked by my ambivalence
    ‘bout substances that thwart my abstinence
    and temperance my body oft laments.
    I longed to taste the nectar that ferments
    my ignorance instead of common sense
    in times of stress and internal torments,
    yet never, somehow, came to my defense.

    But now I have been armoured by the Lord,
    as he and I have entered an accord:
    for me, I’ve vowed to never listen to
    the calling of my inner demon’s voice,
    and He will keep His solemn promise true –
    that I will have the freedom of my choice.


    Posted By Terence | Jan 5, 2008
    #1

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    761
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Wolf Creek, Oregon
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Terence:

    Your rhyming sequence was great! the structure was equally as splendid.

    A personal poem that brought out your inner most thoughts and feelings.
    A surreal and heartfelt write.

    Thanks for sharing

    Blessings
    Sally

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Thank you for your thoughts, Sally. This is a reflection of days well past. I went through a period of alcoholism about 2 decades ago and though those memories still 'haunt' me, it is an experience I learned well from.

    Thanks again,
    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jan 6, 2008
    #3
  1. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    5,998
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In a cloud of smoke...
    Home page:
    Books:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +134 / 1 / -0
    Yeah - I kinda liked the rhyme sequence as well TERENCE - bodes quite well for the sonnet form - and somehow seemed very natural, which is not very easy to accomplish with rhyming styles.

    A very nice write - Thanx for sharing it!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 11, 2008
    #4

    Moonchild Moon Goddess of Whispers

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Message Count:
    451
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Beautiful and so true to what the Lord does!
    Amen to this! Perfect Sonnet form to. Excellent write!


    Posted By Moonchild | Jan 17, 2008
    #5

    BekiLynn New Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2007
    Message Count:
    56
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Southern California
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I only know Petrarchan and Shakespeaarean sonnets - is this rhyme pattern what makes it French? You have used fresh rhymes and used them well...i think the rhyme is a little overpowering for my personal taste though...but that is the form and not you


    Posted By BekiLynn | Jan 17, 2008
    #6

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Thank you so much, Moonchild. It's all about faith. When I see so many people with addiction these days I have to wonder if faith is enough, or has it just been lost.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jan 17, 2008
    #7

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Hi Beki,
    Thank you for the compliment and your thoughts. It is the rhyme scheme that defines the sonnet. The French sonnet is abba abba cc then dede/dccd/deed. Good or bad, my a's and b's turned out to be very similar in sound.
    I've always found thepoetsgarret.com to be a very good resource for forms.

    Thanks again, Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jan 17, 2008
    #8

    reasonrhymer New Member

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    Message Count:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Terence,

    Great ending to a well done work,

    "Freedom of choice" that is such an important thing.

    RR

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    It is indeed, George, thank you for your kind words.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Jan 19, 2008
    #10

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page