Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0


    Making Memories

    As we two soar above the clouds
    Touching, gazing, some sweet romancing
    Wing tips brushing, feathers fluttering
    In the cool wind
    Small black eyes smiling
    Sunshine glancing off silvery beaks
    Yellow claws curling underneath
    Minds intertwined in harmony
    Unknowingly make a memory

    Sleek coats glistening with fine perspiration
    Hooves rhythmically pounding in aspiration
    The morning run across free terrain
    Reunites the stallion and his dame
    Long mane flowing
    Muscles bunching
    Soothingly rubbing heads and snickering
    He comforts, loves, but proves his claim
    Floating on air while trampling the earth
    What is a newly made memory worth?

    Water streaming down naked male shoulders
    Slender fingers with bitten nails pouring
    From a tin can, constantly flowing
    A shower of healing, soothing, reviving
    Liquid medicated loving
    Constancy evoked within the serving
    Glances caress, sweet music playing
    Making memories that go on living

    therese young
    ©2006

    amachristian New Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2006
    Message Count:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    "Floating on air while trampling the earth"
    Theresa, I love this line.
    I loved the whole poem. I could picture in my mind what you were saying as I was reading. You are very in touch with nature as well as deep feelings and it all came through in this poem. Thank you for the wonderful read!

    Benny New Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 20, 2006
    Message Count:
    716
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Western Kentucky
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Just love this poem, Theresa! Made me sit up and drink it in...beautifully written and the flow carried me onward to the end...which I am not certain IS the end! Wow...love this.


    Posted By Benny | Dec 6, 2006
    #3
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Thank you much, Sheri and Benny. It makes it that much more special to know that others see what you see and feel what you feel!

    Therese

    Storytime New Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    A very soothing write. I didn't quite get the bitten nails part.


    Posted By Storytime | Dec 7, 2006
    #5
  3. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Thanks, Sid. It was probably unnecessary in this poem...just aluding the the fact that the lady pouring the water over her man's shoulder is a nail-biter :)

    Therese

    sage New Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    115
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    beautiful piece, filled with nuance and rich imagery, well wrought, haunting and mesmerizing! Bravo!

    write on,
    sage


    Posted By sage | Dec 8, 2006
    #7

    Echoes Poetic Princess

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Message Count:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    very well-expressed write, rich with imagery:bravo:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 8, 2006
    #8
  4. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,653
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Channeling Rainbow
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +20 / 0 / -0
    Dear Therese,

    Wow!! Simply Divine in execution, expression, imagery, and affective domain. The poem just was beautiful from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing, as I look forward to reading more of your work!!

    Painted ;)
  5. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Thanks much Sage (welcome to the site!!)
    Thank you as well...Lisa and PD. I appreciate the warm and loving appreciation! :toot:

    sage New Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    115
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    thanks for the welcome nomad and your faithful visits...:giftrose:

    sage


    Posted By sage | Dec 9, 2006
    #11
  6. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    well, wonderful poetry like yours deserves acknowledgment!! sorry for the late reply, hehe...haven't seen you around so much lately...everything ok?

    Nomad:harp:

    Altree94 VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Message Count:
    842
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Tyendinaga Mohawk Territory
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Really enjoyed the read, Nomad!
    You have some great descriptions in this and as you know,
    I am always in favor of making memories!
    - Tree.
    :goodpost:


    Posted By Altree94 | Mar 27, 2007
    #13
  7. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Thank you kindly, Tree!!! long time no chat...internet at home is busted right now...hope all is well...

    love:flyaway:
    nomad

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,711
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +15 / 0 / -0
    very good Nomad, this had allot of memorable verses
  8. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Lol! Thanks Erik! I thought you meant to comment elsewhere? Yes, this is one of my faves...

    Nomad

    Terence Member

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Florida
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Lovely poem, Therese. Freely flowing, like the soaring birds or wild stallions whose images you paint so well. Love the deeper thoughts also. I'm pleased that it rose to the top again so I didn't miss this gem.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Nov 2, 2007
    #17

    Aumakua Misunderstood

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Orlando, Florida
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Omg!!!!!!!! I love this soooooooo much!!!!!!!! The meaning! It's so awesome! The way you used different views of things to give an insight into what you were writing... absolutely amazing TT_________TT


    Posted By Aumakua | Nov 3, 2007
    #18

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Message Count:
    346
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Yucca Valley, California
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Terese,

    First, Hi my friend. Sorry I haven't been around. Many things to tell. But this is about you and your poetic talent.

    I must say that this poem peaked many senses in me. I like it when a poem addresses all the senses and shows more than it tells. You have many crisp images and show all of the talent of an artist who has carefully selected the canvas, the brushes and the colors to splash on your impression for us.

    In your first stanza you send me flying with the clouds...i'm next to you can you see me? as wings touch in harmony making our memory.

    In your second stanza we move from sky to earth and hovering just above it...we perspire together and there is freedom to run together in comfort and adoration.

    In your last stanza we meet in a liquid state of love and consummation. And the water flows endlessly.

    This was a majestic and alluring masterpiece.

    ~(;) Jer4Clarity
    Creator of the Clarity Pyramid
  9. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Aumakua...I appreciate the cool comments...so happy that you liked this one! :elephant:

    Nomad

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page