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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Mechanisms-Light

    [IMG]
    This poem is based upon scientific method/theory. I use a mechanism to start the poem and describe it and then I poetically deduce a final result of a poetic action of the original description. You could call it mechanism poetry or science poetry, whatever it takes me back to being a geek though.
    Light-
    You touch the soul and give a warmth to troubles that I’m often in,
    The spring of confidence in which every bright idea stems
    Fear of reaching no heights and falling vast,
    Primordial presence downcast to a hiding shadow,
    Yet it seems a prism is what your after,
    Light-reflected, pure-light as in stain-glass windows,
    and the sun reflecting off spilt oil,
    Souls prism begins with a share, light-reflected
    Between sparkling souls within time will dim,
    Chain-reaction, reflections of prisms casued by numerous prisms,
    Souls sparkle in unison,
    Mechanism of light creates verb of chain reaction of numerous prism reflections
    Reaction- Prosperity in Oneness.
    copyright 2012 @Erik Estabrook
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    This is an interesting premise for new form. I love the reaction within the last line here E... Prosperity in Oneness. Lovely phrase there. And doesn't at all make me bitter about not having won this most recent powerball $$$$$$$$$$$ :LOL:

    I do think the formatting of this piece could be better though, as it is now one block of text, whereas stanzas would separate your individual ideas, making the piece more understandable as a whole....?

    At anyrate - a lovely bit of internal rhyme going on as well. Nice job. Thanks for the share.

    J.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Nov 30, 2012
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    yes that reason its not more artfully presented is because it was posted on facebook and facebook blocks everything together no matter what you do

    jakeminick McGonagall's Ghost

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    reminds me of that poem from "harold and kumar" (the square root of three) ha ha. "your", should be you're. although, i guess you're kind of freestyling anyway. cool write. definitely appeals to the nerd and mystic in me. :)


    Posted By jakeminick | Dec 1, 2012
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    believe it or not the intention wasn't to be like kumars"the square root of three" but then again it wouldn't be such abad thing as I know the poem you speak of and it was funny, although I think for a serious write any person wouldn't like that comparison drawn, but thanks Jake your comments are always quite unique, and damn it they force my sense of humor, I have to admit I'm three kumars(size wise) so maybe the white castle chat wouldn't work for me with the ladies)because after white castle most people smell like a cow that died of explosive diahrhea and landed in the same spot where it symptoms took hold(get my drift) lol great talking to you again Jake

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