Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    lovefool New Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 22, 2006
    Message Count:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Slender quivering girl
    Thrusting glitter down
    his throat.
    She stands there, adamant,
    A splinter in your side.

    He says he can't stomach your
    glossy ways, shrouded by
    a sliver of your habits
    merely a lode to disguise.

    Bulbous conscious
    How it ails you
    Effusive lover of his
    flutters in your ear.

    "You pushed him far to me"
    A stale b**ch a splinter in your side


    Posted By lovefool | Dec 22, 2006
    #1

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,653
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Channeling Rainbow
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +20 / 0 / -0
    Dear lovefool,

    There is a definite message in this piece. Very strong content also. My mind dendritic with many perceptions about this piece, and I do not know which branch to follow. If you would, please breeze through and explain alittle more of the poem, and / or your inspiration, so that I may comment appropriately. Thank you. ;)

    ~*Painted*~

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,711
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Home page:
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +15 / 0 / -0
    I tried answering to this earlier but my pc logged me out,
    I think it sounded alittle spiteful but mostly the word usage was sharp

    lanaia74 New Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 20, 2006
    Message Count:
    206
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I loved this! VERY well done!:clown: :smokin: :bombIE:


    Posted By lanaia74 | Dec 28, 2006
    #4

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page