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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Melancholy Spinning Time


    Hopeless, time is spinning hopeless
    and age leaps upon us all.
    One day a child , skipping rope
    double dutching rhymes
    catch me before I fall.

    Building fairy villages
    beneath the lilac bush
    with reinforced roads
    and stolen matchbox cars
    to transport them home.

    Collecting rock and stones
    from the backroads,
    building fortresses in the trees
    no mean boys allowed
    because they steal.

    Once upon a fairytale
    you were a princess
    he was your knight
    demons couldn't stand
    against his might.

    Days twisted into night
    and the hormones
    clamor for release
    driving you insane
    with needs unknown.

    One blink, somehow it all passed
    your children are gone
    and your needs multiplied
    but he pulls away
    leaving the emptiness.

    Hopeless, time is spinning hopeless
    because we cannot go back
    and do it over again.
    Old age leaps upon us
    before we are ready to depart.



    ©2007 Sandra Elizabeth Johnson


    Posted By Mysty | Sep 28, 2007
    #1

  2. Cheeky

    lasher Member

    Member Since:
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    Hey now Mysty,

    I didn't recall being a princess in a fairy tale, but You did elicit some remembrances of my time spun by... I like the story line - in a handful of stanzas you've covered a lifetime....

    And you're right, it's past and over before we realize it - so, make the best of it now and have the time of your life because time is spinning hopelessly away......

    Nice write, enjoyed mucho....


    Posted By lasher | Sep 28, 2007
    #2
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Mysty,

    That was such a beautiful and spot on read! Lasher couldn't have said it any better than, that you covered a lifetime in a few stanzas. You captured the time line, the essence of time, and the natural progression of time. However, with each chapter in her life the feelings matured, etched, and became memories. That is simply exquisite sis. Also in the read you scribe with beautifully selected words, combinations of words, skillfully crafted and placed. Just the right word in the right spot with complimentary words to deliver the right amount of beauty and emotion. That along with the brevity of the piece amazes me. Lastly, to deliver that much (concept and message) on such a small canvas always has been your signature and quite powerful and unique Mysty. Excellent Rating Dahling! :bravothanx:

    Oh and Mysty...the title was perfect and could not have been more fitting! For me the title and the first few lines must capture me and you did that flawlessly......This poem made me ponder my own "SPINNING TIME"!

    PD ;)
  4. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Thank You Kim.. Your comments always touch me where it counts hon... you make me feel so humble... that someone of your intelligence and callibre can enjoy and like my work..... well I am honored and humbled. I Love You Kim :) Sisters of the Soul we are :)

    :hug::hug:

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Sep 28, 2007
    #4

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