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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Eric, Apr 14, 2008.



    Eric New Member

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    Now mistress
    night
    arrives

    Draping
    a velvet cloak
    over silky smooth shoulders

    Spilling jewels
    in her
    wake

    Below
    I catch one
    and rest it

    In
    your
    eyes.

    This one is for you Kim, hope that you like. It's celestial, it's about stars and it is for you if you want it.


    Posted By Eric | Apr 14, 2008
    #1

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Eric (my muse),

    I absolutely will take this and :thankyou: sooooooooooo much! You are my hero, lol
    It is so beautiful and I adore and am enchanted by the stars. :wow:, how can your poetry be so good every time...I need you to teach me how to do that! Excellent rating, going into my favorites! I am gonna print this and put on my listy to do it in Calligraphy! This is very special and made me smile, as I needed that. It is indeed celestial and beautiful as well. Would make a lovely painting also!
    Got me all teary-eyed now...

    :huggles: Kim
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    This is some smoothe poetry ERIC with just a tinge of abstract that always makes for a beautiful read - I like this one very much - I've read it 4 times this evening/morning and it still makes me smile - there's a hint of mystery to this poem that I think describes MS KIM to a T!

    I think the bit of dark mystery may have actually lent a bit of inspiration for the 6-line stanza I wrote for the Neruda tribute poem: http://jpicforum.info/poet-poetess-biographies/pablo-neruda-great-chilean-poet-1904-a-5985.html

    Thanx for the share ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 15, 2008
    #3
  3. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Very good, Eric! You captured Kim to a T! Catching a star for her eyes is a great addition and finish for this poem.

    Kim, this really would be great written in calligraphy. I can already see it!

    hugs,
    Gail

    solo New Member

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    just cute:)


    Posted By solo | Apr 16, 2008
    #5
  4. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Is that all? :notme: Just cute?
    Nothing else? :hello:
    Howdy hi...

    Anyway - you may possibly want to familiarize yourself with the JPiC Posting Policy SOLO - particularly the section that deals with demeaning 1 or 2 word commentary....

    Jacquii.
    • Like Like x 1


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 16, 2008
    #6

    Eric New Member

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    Thank you solo, I appreciate the comment.


    Posted By Eric | Apr 17, 2008
    #7
  5. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    I didn't appreciate the comment - The NEW "Thank You" button would have more than sufficed.
    But I suppose it is all about what the Artiste thinks...

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 17, 2008
    #8
  6. Malnourished

    Ariono-jovan Labu Member

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    bueno eric, this was one of those canvases that simply left a smile pasted my face poet. many posture & try so earnestly to canvas an erotic/ sensual canvas yet they arrive as mawkishly sentimental. the act of trying too desperately to be naturally- passionate is truly overrated by me. but this had tempo/structure to mean something mucho mas.

    "Now mistress
    night
    arrives

    Draping
    a velvet cloak
    over silky smooth shoulders

    Spilling jewels
    in her
    wake

    Below
    I catch one
    and rest it
    In
    your
    eyes."

    may wish to submit this one or more lit mags poet. tight, 1-
  7. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    I was away for some time slogging it out at the office and this is what I missed ... Eric you do know how to make a lady feel good .. dontcha? this was short precise like a silver bullet .. loved it and thanx for sharing!


    Posted By JONATHAN | Mar 17, 2013
    #10

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